


I've Always Liked to Play with Fire

by SuperMARVELous



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Dead Sheriff Stilinski, Divorced Derek Hale, Drunk Sex, F/M, Firefighter Derek Hale, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, One Night Stands, Panic Attacks, Past Derek Hale/Paige, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Police Officer Stiles Stilinski, Sexual Tension, The Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), Top Derek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23951737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperMARVELous/pseuds/SuperMARVELous
Summary: Fire is all Derek’s ever known. How he feels about it. What it’s done to him. How he wants to protect himself and others from it. It’s been a part of his life since he was a kid. And not because he wanted it to be. Life just had a way of putting people in the wrong place at the wrong time....until he's in the right place at the right time and meets Stiles Stilinski.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey & Scott McCall, Vernon Boyd/Erica Reyes
Comments: 3
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a work in progress. I'm finishing up my junior year of college and started writing it. I'll be posting as frequently as possible. A big chunk is already done but I'll be posting in segments. Hope you all enjoy!

Fire is all Derek’s ever known. How he feels about it. What it’s done to him. How he wants to protect himself and others from it. It’s been a part of his life since he was a kid. And not because he wanted it to be. Life just had a way of putting people in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It’s a night, particularly more exhausting than most; he’s just pulled a 48 hour shift. The most amount of sleep he’s had is a restless 3 hours. He should be in his own apartment sleeping in his own bed finally. But he always gets restless after a shift like that. And it’s an added bonus that this shift falls so close to the anniversary of the fire.

He’s not in the best of places. Drinking whiskey till he can’t remember what he’s not supposed to be thinking about. Drinking always comes with stupidity, but he’s too tired to care about that now. He feels a nice buzz. It’s not his desired method of coping; he certainly doesn’t love drinking alone. He doesn’t want his team to see him like this, though.

He asks for another shot and continues to nurse the beer that he’s had in his hands for the past hour. If he wants to get drunk, slowing down sure isn’t helping.

A man hops up on the bar stool next to his and orders a few shots of vodka and a rum and coke. Derek doesn’t want to glance over. Isn’t in the mood to converse. His eyes wander anyway. He’s left staring at one of the most gorgeous men he’s ever seen in his life.

His hair is brown, shortly cropped, but long enough to know that holding onto it would definitely satisfy something inside of him. He’s got these lovely long eyelashes that he can even see with his slightly blurred vision. And there are moles speckled across fine porcelain skin.

“At the risk of sounding totally cliché, you come here often?” The man asks, voice coming across like silk to his intoxicated brain.

Derek snorts. It is cliché for someone to ask him that. But he finds himself into it. Into this very attractive, younger man.

“At the risk of sounding ancient, how old are you?” Derek asks. Because the guy looks freshly out of college.

“25, but I get it. I still look like I just graduated high school,” He says, smiling. Man, even his smile is beautiful. “And you?”

“32.” Derek says. He feels old. No longer really in his prime. A marriage and divorce will do that to you. Oh, and his job.

“I’m Stiles,” The guy sticks out his hand which is long and veiny. Derek can’t help but swallow thickly. Something about those hands heats his skin up more than the alcohol had.

“Derek,” He takes Stiles hand and holds it for a second too long. He lets go after a while and goes to sip his beer again. His 4th shot of whiskey already gone by now.

“Can I ask you something totally bizarre?” Stiles asks, gaining his attention again.

“Sure,” Derek nods. Though it would take a lot for him to consider anything insane. What with his job being pretty insane.

“I’ve had a long night and when I have long nights I like to do something stupid-“

“I’m stupid, do me,” Derek interrupts, smirk rising to his face. He couldn’t help it. There’s this heat pooling in his belly that he hasn’t felt in a long time.

“That was a lot easier than expected,” Stiles laughs, he throws some money down on the bar to pay for his drinks and downs the three shots in a row.

“I’ve had a long night, too,” Derek admits. “I wouldn’t mind getting my mind off it with an unfairly attractive man.”

Stiles blushes and moves to stand, pulling Derek after him. They head toward the bathroom. Derek’s been to the bar a handful of times so he knows there’s only one stall in the men’s room but no way to lock the door to the entire room.

The second they know they’re alone, Stiles kisses Derek hard. Derek’s not sure how long it’s been since someone’s kissed him. Knows the last time he hooked up with someone, kissing definitely wasn’t involved. Not because Derek didn’t want to but because he didn’t feel like this. He didn’t feel like he needed to kiss someone or he wouldn’t be able to breathe.

“Derek...” Stiles breathes into his mouth. “Derek, fuck, I want to blow you.”

Derek laughs wholeheartedly. God does he want that. Stiles’ lips are full, big, and already growing red. Derek can’t speak, he can only nod vigorously as Stiles leads him into the stall and gets to his knees.

Derek’s already so hard in his jeans. His bulge is clear through them and Stiles immediately goes to loosen his belt. The belt that goes to his uniform at the fire station. The only reason he’s wearing it is because he forgot his off duty one at home. Stiles only unbuckles it, doesn’t take it from his waist. He unbuttons his jeans and pulls the zipper down.

He wastes no time jerking Derek’s boxers down and letting his dick free. He also doesn’t waste time putting Derek in his mouth. Derek was sure that Stiles was going to be good at this, but he didn’t imagine it would feel this good.

Derek’s back hits the stall wall hard. He suddenly feels like he’s gasping for air, in a good way. It’s just been so long since someone’s been willing to suck his dick. Or that he’s let a willing person suck his dick.

Stiles is relentless as he moves quickly, trying to get Derek to climax. Derek has to place both his hands in Stiles’ hair for somewhere to grip. He feels like his legs are going to give out. Stiles’ hands are steadying as he pushes him firmly against the stall.

They vaguely hear someone come in to use the urinal outside the stall. Derek slaps a hand over his mouth to stay quiet. He doesn’t do this, have sex in a public place. He’s a firefighter, he has to be somewhat respectable. But god, he couldn’t wait to go somewhere else with Stiles. He needed him immediately.

The person who entered leaves shortly after without washing their hands. Gross. But Derek pays that no mind as Stiles uses his mouth and hand to stroke Derek faster.

“Stiles.... Stiles, I’m close,” Derek pants.

“You got any STDs?” Stiles asks. A bit late to ask that when his mouth has already been on Derek’s cock for the past 5-10 minutes. He’s not even sure how long it’s been. Time is a blur.

“Fuck... no,” Derek gasps as Stiles’ fingers glide on the tip of his dick.

“Then come in my mouth,” Stiles says and then his mouth is back on Derek’s cock in seconds. And mere moments later, Derek is coming. Shooting right into Stiles’ mouth, who takes it like a champ. Doesn’t spit up or choke. He really knows his way around a blow job.

Stiles gets off his knees to nuzzle his face closer to Derek’s. Their eyes meet as they brush noses. Stiles pushes in close first and kisses him with Derek’s spunk still on his tongue.

“Tell me I don’t give great head,” Stiles smiles into the kiss. “Tell me I didn’t rock your world.”

“Considering the fact that my head is still spinning, I don’t think I can do that,” Derek smiles back, placing a hand at the back of Stiles’ neck to pull him in for another tongue-filled kiss.

“Hey, do you want to get out of here? My place is only like a block away. I’ve got a bed and food and lube...” Stiles asks softly, ready to be turned down.

“Yeah, fuck yeah. Let’s do that,” Derek agrees. He quickly pulls his pants up and buttons his jeans.

Stiles bursts out of the stall and walks to the bathroom mirror. He goes to throw some water on his face. Derek looks at them both in the mirror. Stiles’ hair looks great. He looks like he got thoroughly fucked which makes Derek’s dick twitch, already feeling interested again.

He crowds up against Stiles and pushes him against the bathroom wall, taking him all in, “We should get out of here before I fuck you in front of people.”

Stiles blushes, his hand snakes up through the bottom hem of his shirt, feeling his hot skin against the palm of his hand. He kisses Derek one more time and then nods. They walk out of the bathroom and bar still holding hands.

They walk to Stiles’ apartment, trying way too hard to keep their hands off of each other. It’s harder than Derek expected. He’s never tried drugs before, since his job is working for the government, but he imagines this is what it feels like to have your first hit. Immediate intoxicating desire, pleasure, and ecstasy. All things he felt the moment Stiles sat down with him at the bar.

Stiles’ apartment is in a good neighborhood. It’s close to where everything’s happening in Beacon Hills. The fire station isn’t even that far. Of course, he doesn’t tell Stiles these things. They don’t talk much as they walk to get there. It’s just quick glances and giddy laughing. He feels like he’s in high school again. That’s definitely the alcohol.

Stiles leads him up a flight of stairs when they get inside the building. His apartment is the last door in the hallway on the left. Derek is too drunk to care what number it is. Stiles fumbles with the keys for a bit, the vodka finally taking a toll on him.

“You know it’s really going to be my fault if you turn out to be an axe murderer,” Stiles jokes as he finally gets the key in the lock.

“I have an axe, but I definitely don’t use it for murdering,” Derek says.

The second the door is open, Derek pushes Stiles inside and shuts the door behind them. He crowds Stiles up against the door, locking his hands above his head to get easier access.

“God, you’re so hot,” Stiles moans as Derek mouths down his neck.

“I’m going to spend the entire night learning how many fucking moles you have and I’m going to kiss each one of them,” Derek whispers into his ear.

“Okay. You. Me. Bed. Now,” Stiles demands, pushing Derek away from the door. He grabs his wrist and pulls him toward the bedroom.

The street light peers in through the north facing window. It’s covered by some shitty blinds Stiles hasn’t been bothered to fix. Derek can barely see where he’s going. The light does show the bed and Derek is careful not to immediately fall into it.

He meets Stiles again at the front of the bed. He pulls one of his legs up so he can wrap it around Derek’s waist and the other one follows suit. He picks Stiles up and gingerly gets them both onto the bed. Stiles lies under him, legs still wrapped around his waist.

They kiss for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling until they make their lips raw. Derek climbs off of Stiles to throw his shoes off, not caring where they go. He pulls his socks off with them. He can feel Stiles do the same beside him.

Stiles stands up and moves to be in front of Derek as he sits on the edge of the bed. Derek’s legs open as Stiles settles between them, leaning down only slightly to kiss him. Stiles’ hands rest against the sides of Derek’s neck. His thumbs run slow circles on his jaw.

Soon his hands are traveling lower and he lifts the hem of Derek’s shirt up a little. Derek doesn’t even mind as his hands go all the way under and up to pull the shirt off. He pushes Derek back then so he’s laying down. Stiles climbs on top of him and Derek pulls up the hem of his shirt, begging for him to remove it. Stiles does so without hesitation.

They move up on the bed so they’re more comfortably laying against the pillows. Derek flips them over so he’s on top again. His eyes have adjusted to the darkness so he can see Stiles better. He can still see the vast expanse of all the moles that are placed like constellations on his skin.

He leans down to kiss the one that falls dead center on his cheek. There’s so many to kiss on his face alone that he just starts there. One falls on his collar bone so his lips drift there. And then to the one above is right nipple and the one below his left. There’s a smattering of ones that fall on his rib cage and chest so Derek kisses those too for good measure.

“Y-you weren’t kidding when you said you were going to do that,” Stiles pants. He pulls Derek back up to kiss his lips. They’re so sore at this point. So red. But that just makes Stiles kiss him harder.

“Stiles you’re gorgeous,” Derek can’t help himself from saying. Even if it weren’t for the copious amount of booze in his system, he’d still want to say it.

“Less talking, more fucking,” Stiles says, his fingers trailing down to grab the bulge in Derek’s jeans.

Derek sits up quickly to unbuckle is belt and toss it on the floor. He’ll need that back for his next shift. For now, it’s getting tossed into the darkness. Stiles is simultaneously doing the same to his belt. It doesn’t take long for the pants and underwear to follow suit.

Blessedly naked, Derek lays on top of Stiles again. Skin rubs against skin. The sensitivity of their dicks rubbing against each other makes them both shiver.

“You said something earlier about fucking me? I’d very much like it if you did that,” Stiles tells him. Their mouths open and panting as they still kiss slowly.

Derek smirks and nods, “Got any of that lube you mentioned earlier?”

Stiles leans over to the bedside table and pulls out a small tube of lube and shoves it in Derek’s hand. Derek puts a decent amount on his fingers and then places them just outside of Stiles’ hole. He slowly starts to inch one in while Stiles’ back arches off the bed. His breathing quickens as Derek pumps the finger in and out. He adds two and then three. Making sure Stiles is always comfortable as he adds more.

Once he’s prepped, Derek takes all his fingers out. Stiles shivers from the loss. It’s obvious he needs Derek’s dick in him soon.

“You wanna use a condom?” Derek asks. He’s clean. Stiles had mentioned back in the bar restroom under shallow breath that he was too.

“No. I wanna try barebacking,” Stiles says, Derek kisses his jaw and then spreads a good amount of lube onto his throbbing cock.

“Do you want to lay on your stomach?”

“No, just... just do it like this,” Stiles says, he lifts his legs over Derek’s shoulders so he has easier access. He slowly inserts his dick into Stiles’ hole. Keeping a steady pace as Stiles starts to yell out. He can’t tell if he’s in pain or if he’s feeling the pleasure yet.

Stiles starts to mutter a line of curses under his breathe. Derek doesn’t want to move. Doesn’t want to hurt Stiles under any circumstance.

“Move,” Stiles begs when Derek is all the way in. “Slowly.”

Derek is slow at first. He takes his time opening Stiles up even more on his hard cock. Stiles’ cries start to turn into moans. That’s when Derek feels comfortable moving quicker.

One of Stiles’ hands clutch onto Derek’s back firmly, sure to leave some kind of mark. The other hand is pumping his own neglected dick. Both Derek’s hands are pressed into the pillow on each side of Stiles’ head. He can hold himself up with one so he reaches down and starts pumping Stiles’ dick himself. Stiles’ free hand moves up to pull his head down into a fumbled kiss. Their mouths are mostly open as they continue to pant and moan.

“Der...” Stiles groans. “Der, I’m so close.”

Derek fucks him and pumps him harder after that. He lets Stiles reach his climax first. Stiles falls apart underneath him, coming harder than he’s probably ever come in his life. Derek continues to thrust into him even after he’s pliant and laying there after his orgasm finishes. He’s coming then, releasing his load inside Stiles. That’ll be a bitch to clean up.

Once Derek pulls out, he flops down next to Stiles who hasn’t said a word since he came.

“I’m not normally a cuddle after sex kind of guy but I wouldn’t mind if you stayed,” Stiles says softly, voice hoarse from the yelling he just did.

Derek doesn’t confirm that he will stay, but he doesn’t move either. He’s finally tired. He’s worn out from his 48 hour shift and the immense fucking he just did. He came twice within the span of an hour. That hasn’t happened since he was married to Paige.

Derek looks over at Stiles who he didn’t realize was looking at him the whole time. Derek feels he could get lost in those eyes. The street light hits them in a way that makes them glow a caramel color. Or maybe they look like the whiskey he was drinking earlier.

“You said you had a long night,” Stiles says. There’s a question hanging in the air. He can tell Stiles wants to know more.

“I worked a double. I’m a firefighter at station 16. 48 hours of endlessly fighting fires and saving people,” Derek sighs. “I’ve slept three hours in those 48.”

“You must be exhausted,” Stiles says. He shuffles his body closer so they’re laying next to each other. There noses almost touch.

“I am now,” Derek grins.

Derek leans the rest of the way forward. His lips press against Stiles in the first chaste kiss they’ve shared. Both are too tired at this point to go again, though Derek would love to.

“Enough pillow talk. Get some sleep,” Stiles murmurs, his eyelids fluttering as he looks at Derek. “Maybe you’ll get some of that food I mentioned in the morning.”

“Okay,” Derek whispers back.

Stiles passes out quickly after that. His head falls against Derek’s chest and his hand gently clutches his bicep. Derek knows he should get up and leave. But in this moment, he’s the safest he’s ever felt. He doesn’t feel alone for the first time in five years. And so like that, limbs intertwined with Stiles’, he falls asleep.

The next morning he wakes up with a massive hangover. He can also smell something cooking in the kitchen. Which is weird because he lives alone. Then he remembers the events of last night and he sits up to collect his bearings. He looks around the room and notices Stiles’ absence. He also notices his clothes thrown around from the heat of last night’s passion.

He groans as he rubs his face. He doesn’t do this. He was just really drunk and he did something really stupid. God, when was the last time he got laid? It had to at least been a couple months. Fighting fires didn’t necessarily give the proper time to make a connection with someone that developed into the casual one night stand.

Derek looks over to the bedside table and sees two pills of aspirin and a glass of water. He smiles a little, feeling grateful that Stiles would be concerned enough about him to do something like that. He takes the pills and downs them quickly with the water. His head is still pounding a little and the morning light isn’t doing much to help that.

He can also finally see the entire bedroom now. It’s nice and spacious. Derek suddenly wonders what Stiles does for a living to afford something like this. The bed is a king. Derek already could tell that from last night. There’s a bedside table on each side of it. There are also two doors to the left of the room. One is to a bathroom and the other is to a small closest. There’s a dresser and a mirror on the right side of the room. Though the room is nice, there’s not much character to it. Nothing decorating the walls. There’s a picture on the dresser but Derek is too far away to look at it.

Stiles bursts through the door shortly after. He’s carrying a tray with two plates full of an assortment of breakfast foods. It smells incredible and Derek won’t let his hangover ruin that. He’s never been brought breakfast in bed, always was the one making it for his significant other.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I kind of just made a mash of everything,” Stiles says as he sets the tray down and climbs back in the bed next to Derek.

He’s only wearing his boxers which makes Derek feel slightly better about the fact that he’s still naked. Derek reaches for a piece of bacon on the tray and eats slowly. He feels like this might be the part where things get awkward. They’re going to eat, say their goodbyes, and then never see each other again.

They eat in comfortable silence. Derek felt like one of them would feel the need to keep a conversation going but they didn’t. It’s something that shocked him, considering Stiles had done most of the talking last night anyway. He was really verbal during sex, which wasn’t bad, it kind of turned Derek on quite a bit.

When they’ve finished, Stiles takes the tray and sets it on his bedside table. He then turns to Derek who’s still sitting up and kisses him softly. Part of him wants to pull away. The other part feels like he could stay in this bed for the rest of his life and everything would just be okay.

“I have to go to work soon,” Stiles says against his lips. “But I wouldn’t definitely be up for something before I have to go.”

Derek nods, pulling Stiles to sit in his lap. Derek hasn’t had this much sex in a short time span probably ever in his life. Even when he was married they weren’t constantly on each other like he is with Stiles.

Stiles pulls his underwear down swiftly and then climbs back on Derek. Derek inserts a finger into his hole slowly but Stiles is still pretty open and stretched from the night before.

“I’m gonna ride you,” Stiles says. Moments later he’s sinking onto Derek’s dick without another thought.

They move fast. Derek’s head is spinning as Stiles does most of the work. He takes to stroking Stiles’ dick until he’s gasping and coming in his hand. Stiles continues to fuck himself on Derek’s dick while riding through his own orgasm. It doesn’t take long for Derek to start coming too.

Stiles’ head rests on Derek’s chest as they both come down. His dick is still firmly in Stiles’ ass and he has no desire to move it. His dick might even be feeling excitement again.

“You can’t be getting hard again,” Stiles gasps. “Damn, you have stamina.”

“Can’t help it,” Derek says. “You’re so damn sexy.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, sir. I’m a compliment whore,” Stiles grins as he bites Derek’s jaw.

He swiftly pulls himself off of Derek’s dick, his hole making a small popping sound. There’s come still leaking out of his ass but he really doesn’t seem to mind. He gets off of the bed and heads for one of the doors on the left of the room.

“I need a shower, you coming?” Stiles asks.

Derek doesn’t hesitate as he gets out of the bed too and follows Stiles inside. He has a nice shower, big enough for the two of them, maybe even big enough for another person. The water pressure is great and it relaxes Derek. Stiles runs some fancy shampoo into his own hair and then into Derek’s. Derek has never been groomed like this before. Most of the time, he took showers alone at the fire station. He and Paige never really had time to take them together. And he never saw the need for them with anybody else.

He takes some of Stiles’ body wash and starts to rub it down the man’s back. Stiles smiles at the contact, enjoying having Derek’s hands rake all over him. They both step under the shower head as they kiss. The water making things steamier and better than before.

Derek gets down on his knees and sucks Stiles off, repaying the favor from the previous night. It’s definitely more comfortable than doing it in a public restroom stall.

They quickly rinse off the sweat and come from their bodies. Derek even helps Stiles clean his ass. It’s his fault it’s so messy anyway. They turn off the shower and grab their own towels to dry off. Derek throws on the same clothes from last night. Stiles gets into some dark blue pants and a different belt from last night. He pulls some long socks on but remains shirtless. Derek doesn’t mind the view.

Derek’s dressed and ready to go. He doesn’t think he should wait to leave with Stiles, it would just be too awkward. He should probably head to the station anyway. He got a good 12 hours of sleep thanks to Stiles. Now he could get back to another exhausting 24 hour work shift.

“I should head out, I’ve gotta get to the station for my shift soon,” Derek tells him, suddenly not wanting to say goodbye. But something to know about Derek is that this is as far as he gets with people. Hasn’t dated since before Paige. It’s just not him anymore.

“Of course,” Stiles nods. “I had a great time, Derek.”

“Me too.”

Stiles walks toward him and places his hands on each side of Derek’s face. It’s something Paige used to do when she wanted Derek to look at her.

“One more for the road,” Stiles says, kissing Derek sweetly. If only he could stay in this moment forever.

Stiles’ hand travels to his ass and reaches into his back pocket. He squeezes gently and then releases. He backs away and lets Derek head for the door. Derek almost turns back. Almost heads to the bedroom again to throw Stiles back on the bed.

But he doesn’t look back. He moves forward and leaves through the front door.

It takes him a bit to get to the bar where the Camaro is still parked. He’s lost in his own head for most of the walk. He slips into the driver’s seat and heads for the station without a second thought.

When he gets there his teammates haven’t arrived for their shift yet. He is early anyway. He goes to his area where he keeps his civilian clothes and uniform. He reaches for his phone in his back pocket so he can change into his work pants but a folded piece of paper drops to the floor as he pulls it out.

He reaches for the paper and opens it. There’s a messy scrawl of letters and numbers written in pen. _Call me? 213-208-4081. Stiles._

Derek huffs out a short laugh. He didn’t think he was going to see Stiles again. No, he knows he won’t. Because he’s not going to call.

He shoves the note into his locker and continues to change into his uniform. As he’s pulling his shirt over his head he hears a gasp.

“Oh my god, Derek Hale, you got laid?” He hears a woman say. He pulls the shirt over his head and glares at Erica.

“As your lieutenant, I’m going to ignore your personal questions,” Derek grits out. He turns away to pull up his shirt, he wants to see the incriminating evidence. There’s a large purple mark just above is pants line. He rests his head against the wall, feeling stupid for not checking earlier.

“Oh come on, I thought getting laid would remove the stick from your ass,” Erica complains. “Or maybe it lodged it further in there.”

She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at him, as if to say that maybe he was getting rather than giving. Which totally wasn’t the case. At least not since he started sleeping with guys. He was an adamant top. Never tried the bottoming thing. He was married to a woman not even five years ago.

“Reyes, we’re not talking about my personal life. Now or preferably ever,” Derek tells her.

“Too bad I’m like your best friend so you’re totally going to tell me anyway,” She shrugs.

“Boyd’s my best friend,” Derek corrects. “Because he doesn’t bug me about my personal life.”

“You have a life outside of this fire station?” Boyd asks, popping his head in from the doorway. He’s freshly showered, wearing only a towel around his waist.

“Very funny,” Derek rolls his eyes.

“I’m just kidding man,” Boyd cracks a smile. “Happy for you though.”

“It was nothing. I just met someone and we had a good time but now it’s a new day and I’m ready to get back to my job,” Derek says pointedly.

Erica is too nosy for her own good and reaches into his locker where the note from Stiles sits. She snatches it and runs across the room before he can grab her.

“Oh my god you got his number!” She squeals.

“Who’s got who’s number?” Isaac asks as he walks into the room. He’s fully clothed in his uniform. Out of all of them, he probably is the most punctual.

“Derek got a guy’s number,” Erica exclaims. She hands the note over to Isaac who reads it slowly.

“Hey, I think I know this guy,” Isaac says.

“We’re going to stop talking about it right now unless you all want to do drills for the next hour with no breaks,” Derek threatens. He walks up to Isaac, snatches the note back and tosses it in his locker.

Erica and Isaac relent and head to their own lockers to get ready for the shift. Boyd and him share a locker in the same section so they stand quietly in the same space while Boyd changes and Derek finishes pulling on his uniform.

“You know they just want to see you happy,” Boyd says. They don’t look at each other as he speaks. They normally don’t make eye contact whenever they talk.

“I’m happy,” Derek argues.

“No you’re not,” Boyd says, his arm reaches out and holds onto Derek’s shoulder. “You’ve had a rough life, man. So call the guy, don’t call the guy, I’ll support whatever you choose.”

Derek turns to look at Boyd. He nods at him once, appreciating the advice. This is why he likes Boyd. He doesn’t pressure him into anything.

“I should just marry you, Boyd.”

“Too bad I’m happily married to the feisty blonde over there,” Boyd nods towards Erica and smiles. Yeah, they make a great pair. “You wanna tell me about him?”

Derek sighs. He doesn’t really want to think about Stiles anymore.

Throughout the day he catches moments with Boyd alone. In those moments he tells him little things about Stiles. Hoping that getting it in the air will help him get over him.

So he tells Boyd about the way Stiles made him feel when they first met. Like electricity ignited in his veins, like he was on fire. He tells him about the way it felt to laugh with someone and not have it seem forced. The way that Stiles could talk enough for the both of them and there weren’t any awkward silences.

He describes the moles that covered inches of Stiles’ body. How he memorized every single one. Got to kiss them all. He talks about the way it felt to have long, veiny fingers break him apart with soft touches. How even when Stiles’ nails dug into his skin and left marks, it didn’t hurt. It just made him feel more alive.

He mentions how Stiles, a 25 year old man, made him feel like he was in high school again. How he felt giddy and intoxicated just by the smell of him. He tells Boyd that Stiles smelled like a forest. He smelled like the woods that his family used to live in. He smelled like home.

They have ten more hours of their shift left when something different happens. They’ve just gotten back from a call. Derek is taking off his fire jacket and pants while everyone else heads to the showers.

He feels exhausted, ready for some kind of nap before they get another call. He tosses his boots on the ground and switches into some tennis shoes. Once he’s got his normal uniform back on, he heads into the reception area where he’ll need to go before he can go up to his private quarters to take a nap.

“I’m looking for uh... Derek,” Someone’s saying when he walks in. Danny is running the front desk today. He’s hesitant to respond to the man.

“Stiles?” Derek is surprised to see him. Wasn’t planning on seeing him ever again, let alone so soon after they hooked up.

“Derek!” He exclaims, pointing at him so Danny knows who he’s talking about.

Danny looks at Derek, understanding this might be a private moment.

“I have to run to the bathroom, you mind covering for me, Derek?” He asks.

Derek nods in response and Danny takes the opportunity to leave.

“What are you doing here?” Derek asks him quietly. His friends know about Stiles but the rest of the station does not.

“Sorry to come in while you’re working. I just got back from work a bit ago and I found this laying on the floor in my bedroom,” Stiles holds out a thin chain with small silver pendant attached. That’s his.

On reflex he reaches up around his neck where the chain normally sits. He hadn’t even realized it was gone.

“Figured it may have been important,” Stiles shrugs as he hands it over for Derek to take.

“Thank you,” Derek murmurs, stuffing the necklace into his pocket for now.

“That’s, uh, not the only reason I came by,” Stiles says. Derek knows where this is going.

“I thought we had a pretty good night together. I feel like we really connected,” Stiles explains. “I was wondering if you’d want to get coffee with me sometime?”

_“Derek, I love you,” Derek tries to interrupt her, knowing where the conversation is going. Needing to let her know how he feels. “And I know you love me too.”_

_She smiles at him sadly. He doesn’t want her to be upset. Has never wanted her to feel unsafe or insecure when they were together. But in this instance, he feels helpless. Doesn’t know how to make it better when she already knows how he feels._

_“But you also love your job. And I love that you love your job. It is something you were destined to do. Ever since your family passed away, you knew how you were going to keep going without them. Being a firefighter helps you feel less guilty, even when I know you have nothing to feel guilty about. It scares me, though. What you do,” Paige says. She lifts her hands and places them delicately on each side of his face, forcing him to look into her eyes._

_Derek can feel another but coming. Can hear it in her voice. Knows where this is going but too scared to say something. To fight it._

_“Derek...” she all but whispers. “I’m not going to make you choose because that is not fair to you. But I can’t sit here and wait for you to come home every night, scared that every day is going to be the last time I see you. I love you with all my heart, but I can’t do this anymore and I won’t let you quit your job for me.”_

_“So what are you saying?” Derek finally asks._

_“I’m saying... I want a divorce,” She sighs, taking her hands away and walking away from him altogether. Putting space between them. Now and forever._

“Derek?” He looks to see who’s called for him. Knows he spaced out for a minute. “Where’d you go?”

“Just in my head about some things,” Derek shakes it off. “Listen, Stiles...”

“I know where this is going,” Stiles snorts. “It was great meeting you, Stiles, but I’m totally just not into you and I think you should leave me alone forever-“

“I don’t date,” Derek stops him before he goes too far.

“Neither do I,” Stiles shrugs.

“But... you asked me out,” Derek points out.

“For coffee,” Stiles nods. He sighs shortly after Derek doesn’t respond. “Derek, I like you. I like you a lot. That doesn’t really happen for me that much anymore. And I’m lonely. I get lonely because I’ve been by myself since my dad died. I throw myself into my work and my friends are busy with their own lives. I guess I asked you to get coffee with me because I thought you might be lonely too.”

“Oh he’s so lonely,” Erica comes up beside them and slaps Derek on the back. “What’s the hesitation, Der? You’ve got an attractive nerdy man asking to go out with you. Say yes.”

Derek glares at her. She raises her hands in the air, as if to say she’s backing off. She starts walking the other direction, glancing back only to give him a wink. She’s behind Stiles at this point so the aforementioned man in front of him doesn’t get to see it.

“I don’t know her, but I totally agree with what she said,” Stiles says.

“Stiles, I think you’re great,” Derek says.

“But...”

“But,” Derek huffs. “I got divorced. It’s been a while, yes, but I just don’t think I want to get back into a relationship again.”

“Okay,” The man nods. His face shows his disappointment but he doesn’t argue. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

Stiles gives him one last half smile, obviously upset, and then heads toward the entrance of the firehouse.

Derek likes Stiles. Likes the way he felt the first time they met in that bar across from the hospital after a long shift. He likes the way Stiles could break him apart with his hands while they were in bed together. As far as the sex goes, Derek’s never had better. They worked well together. And that’s why he was scared.

Paige leaving him, well that just about broke him. And he has felt lonely since then. But those one night stands are what tide him over in those really dark moments. When he met Stiles he was in a pretty dark place.

Derek shakes it off. He has a job to do. His shift isn’t over for another ten hours. That’s what he gets for deciding to do another double. Isaac owes him big time for covering for him. It’s not every day that you’re getting married though, so the wedding planning thing is a little understandable. Even if Derek probably never wants to get married again, the first time is special.

He walks into the kitchen, tired and ready to take a break to eat before they get another call. It’s bound to happen before his shift ends. There aren’t many quiet evenings around Beacon Hills. No matter how small of a town it may be.

He runs into Boyd who is quietly munching away on some cereal, even though it’s two p.m. Derek grabs some leftover chili from the fridge, heats it up in the microwave, and sits next to his burly partner. He and Boyd work well together because of their ability to be comfortable in any situation without having to communicate. They like the silence. It’s calming.

“So freckles showed up,” Boyd says, not even looking at Derek while he speaks.

“They’re moles, actually,” Derek corrects softly.

“He seems nice,” Boyd amends.

“Yeah Boyd,” Derek sighs. “He really is.”


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks pass and Derek doesn’t try to contact Stiles. Stiles doesn’t try to come back to the firehouse and ask him out again either.

Derek’s days go by in a blur of fires and accidents and trauma. He doesn’t let it hit him much anymore. Every year it gets easier to let things go. To let the loses go and look at the wins. Which while few, still make an impact.

Erica still bugs him every day about his love life. At first she mentioned Stiles frequently, now her talks have mostly gotten general. He knows she just wants him to be happy but he wishes she’d just back off.

He’s in the gym lifting weights when they get their first call of the day. He runs to grab his gear and hop on the fire truck. He’s riding with Isaac for the day. Isaac’s pretty easy to sit with while driving. He’s focused on the task so they don’t normally talk much.

It’s no different today. If anything, Isaac looks more worried and focused than usual. Derek’s not sure why, the call is to a vet clinic just outside of town. Isaac doesn’t have any pets that Derek knows of, so he’s not sure what has the blond boy on edge.

They get there and the place isn’t totally on fire. It’s mostly contained. Their captain gets things moving quickly. There’s only two people inside but they want to save the animals if they can. Derek’s put on hose duty if the fire escalates. He’s waiting by the hydrant when he watches a vehicle pull up. Not a cop car, EMT, or another service vehicle, it’s a civilian car. Powder blue Jeep.

Derek feels like he’s vaguely seen the piece of junk somewhere before but doesn’t give it much mind. What he does give mind to is the way the driver acts like he owns the place. He parks where he wants, blocking people’s ways. When he hops out, Derek can’t see him clearly but he’s trying to get past the crime scene tape that Erica and Boyd put up when they arrived on the scene.

One of their crew members tries to stop him but the man just yells at him and pulls out a badge as he passes anyway. The guy runs toward the burning building, which is something you’re definitely not supposed to do.

He doesn’t run in though. Isaac is coming out with one of the victim’s. A victim whom the man hugs immediately on sight. Boyd comes to take the victim to the aid car to get some oxygen. He’s definitely breathed in smoke. The man releases the victim and turns to Isaac, hugging him too. Isaac seems distraught as the mystery man pushes him toward the victim. Derek really doesn’t know what’s going on with Isaac.

The captain tells him he can hand the hose off and go make sure they don’t need help inside. Derek rushes over to where the mystery man who owns the Jeep is still standing.

“Hey, you need to get away from this building,” Derek yells as he approaches.

“Yeah, sorry I just-“ The man turns to him. It’s Stiles. “Derek?”

“Stiles, what are you doing here?” Derek asks, shock written on his face.

“I heard the call on my radio. I was closest to the scene. Off duty,” he lifts up his walkie that he’s been holding and nods toward the Jeep. As if to say that’s why he’s not in uniform and has a civilian car. “Scott’s my best friend. Had to make sure he was okay.”

“So you’re-“

“A cop,” Stiles nods. “You would’ve learned that if you got that coffee with me.”

Stiles is snippy, understandably. Derek hurt him. This was an acceptable reaction. Derek turns to look at the aid car where Isaac is helping the victim, Scott. He’s holding the oxygen mask on his face like his life depends on it. His other hand is raking softly through Scott’s hair.

“And Isaac?”

“Scott’s fiancé,” Stiles’ eyebrows scrunch together. “You work with the guy, don’t you know he’s getting married?”

“I’ve never met Scott,” Derek shrugs.

“Right, because you’re a hermit in your spare time.”

“Stiles-“

“HALE!” His captain shouts at him. “GET BACK TO WORK. GET THAT CIVILIAN AWAY FROM THE BUILDING!”

“With all do respect, sir, I’m a cop. Not a civilian,” Stiles shouts back but starts walking toward the aid car.

Derek has more to say to Stiles. Wants to fix this mess between them because he knows he screwed up. He goes back to his job though, you know, the one where he has to put out the fire. He runs into the building under the captain’s orders and makes sure that the area is clear. Everyone has been vacated from the premises and the fire is finally out. They could save most of the building but it would need a lot of work to repair the damages.

He heads over to the aid car where Isaac, Scott, and Stiles still are. The captain sends in another crew for cleanup. He feels like he needs to help more. This was someone close to his team. Sometimes the fires were personal.

“How are you holding up?” Derek asks Scott as he approaches.

Scott takes the oxygen mask off his face to speak, “I’m good. You must be Derek.”

Scott sticks out his hand for Derek to shake. This is the man Isaac is going to spend the rest of his life with. And he could’ve just lost him. Just like that. From one measly fire in a vet clinic.

“Yeah. I’m sorry these are the circumstances in which we’re meeting,” Derek takes his hand. Shakes it firmly and then lets go.

“Isaac has told me a lot about you. You make a good lieutenant,” Scott says. Derek nods. Scott’s breathing still seems shallow. Derek’s concern shows on his face when he looks at Isaac.

“He has asthma,” Isaac explains.

“Scott, how’d the fire start?” Stiles asks, speaking for the first time since Derek came over. Though he’d been glancing at him often.

“Faulty wiring. One second things were fine and next the whole room was on fire,” Scott sighs.

“We rescued everyone inside. Including all the animals,” Derek says

“That doesn’t mean you’re not lucky,” Isaac warns.

“Lucky the love of my life is a badass firefighter,” Scott grins. His wheezing seems to stop after a few minutes. 

Derek smiles a little but puts his walls back up. He nods at the couple and then at Stiles before leaving to join his crew again.

“Derek!” Stiles shouts after him and jogs a bit to catch up.

“Stiles, I’m sorry about how I handled things before at the station.”

“Hey I get it, you’re not ready,” Stiles shrugs.

“Yeah,” Derek nods.

“Friends?” He asks.

“Just friends?”

“If you’re up for that.”

“Okay.”

Erica runs up to him. Her helmet is at her side now. The dangers of the fire are gone so she’s loosened up a bit.

“Hey, cap’s cutting our shift early, you wanna go grab a couple beers down town?” Erica says to Derek. “Oh, hi Stiles. You’re free to come too.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Stiles says.

“Come on. Isaac’s bringing Scott. Probably won’t let him out of his sight for the next few days. You know Scott. It’ll be fun,” Erica argues.

“Okay, sure,” Stiles nods.

“We gotta head to the station to clean up but meet us at Joe’s in an hour,” Erica tells Stiles. Derek glances at Stiles. He’s thinking about how it’s the first place they met. By the look on Stiles’ face, he’s probably thinking it too.

Derek waves a goodbye to Stiles as he follow Erica back to the fire trucks. He heads to the aid car where Isaac still is. Though Isaac drove, Derek opts to drive for him so he can sit in the back with Scott. He has a lot to think about anyway and driving tends to help with that.

Derek doesn’t stop thinking as he gets cleaned up in the station showers. Doesn’t stop even when he’s in the passenger seat of Boyd’s car. Erica opted to ride with Scott and Isaac to get to know Scott better. Erica could also tell Derek needed a quiet place to think. She was considerate sometimes.

“So friends, huh?” Boyd asks him, eyes focused on the road.

“Yeah. He asked,” Derek shrugs.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do Derek. I believe you can figure that out on your own. But I don’t think this one’s going to be like the last,” Boyd says. “Just something to think about.”

Derek can tell Boyd’s talking about how things ended with Paige. How she broke it off because she was too scared to lose him. It’s been five years and Derek’s still here. Still alive. He wishes she would have fought for him. Or that he would have fought more for her.

Boyd was right that Stiles wouldn’t be the same. Wouldn’t worry about him not coming home every night. He’d be worried about himself coming home every night. Being on the police force was no easy feat either. There were easier days than others. The cops dealt with situations just as dangerous.

When they pull up to Joe’s, Stiles is waiting outside the bar with Erica, Scott, and Isaac. He looks calm, not at all uncomfortable. He looks like he fits in. Which scares Derek even more.

They all head in and grab a table that seats the five of them. Derek ends up squished a little too close to Stiles, thanks to Erica. Stiles doesn’t seem to give it much mind, he talks happily to Scott who sits next to him.

They’re talking for a while between fries and beers. They learn more about Scott and Isaac. How the wedding planning is coming along. His team asks Stiles questions to get to know if a little better. He mostly pays attention, sometimes getting lost in the way Stiles’ Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows.

Derek gets up after a while to stretch his legs and head over to the bar for his own drink. He doesn’t take a seat, not wanting to seem like he’s ditching his friends. He stands next to the side of the bar, waiting for the bar tender to finish serving his other customers before getting over to him.

“What are you drinking?”

“He’ll have a glass of whiskey,” Stiles says from behind him. “I’ll take a rum and coke myself.”

Stiles hands him over a wad of bills and tells him to keep the change. Derek looks over at Stiles when he grabs the glass the bar tender just poured for him. Stiles smiles and gives the guy a wink, obviously flirting.

“How’d you know what I drink?” Derek asks, jealousy only pooling a little in his stomach.

“Could taste it on your breath,” Stiles shrugs, sipping his drink slowly. He grimaces at the taste a little. Must be strong.

“I was drinking beer that night too,” Derek points out.

“Yeah, but I could tell,” Stiles says. “My dad used to drink a lot of whiskey after my mom died. You start to know the smell. I learned the taste after my dad died, I started drinking it in his memory.”

“I’m sorry about your father, Stiles,” Derek sighs.

“Thanks. He was a good man. Best I’ve ever known. He was the sheriff for ten years before he died,” Stiles sighs, drinking a bit more of his mixed beverage. “So why do you drink whiskey?”

“Pretty deep question to ask someone you barely know,” Derek says, taking a sip of the whiskey. It feels good burning down his throat.

“What can I say? I’m a pretty deep guy.”

“I lost my family too. It’s been years now. Over 15. The whiskey was a way to cope,” Derek explains. He hasn’t told anyone this. Not any of his friends. The people he trusts the most. “They died in a house fire. 11 people. My uncle came out of it. And he’s basically a vegetable.”

“The Hale house fire. You’re a Hale?” Stiles asks.

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

“My dad worked the case. He was only a deputy back then. It was one of the ones that haunted him for years after. He never figured out what happened.”

“Arson. Could never catch the person who did it,” Derek sighs. He rubs a hand down his face, trying not to think about it.

“But you know who did it?” Stiles asks.

“My crazy ex,” Derek nods. “She was older than me. By at least 10 years. I thought I was in love with her. My parents found out. Told me I couldn’t see her again. So she got pissed and burned the house down with everyone inside.”

“Derek you were a minor.”

“I know.”

“And they never found her?”

“No,” Derek looks down at the floor and closes his eyes, willing the tears to go away.

“Is that why you became a firefighter?” Stiles asks softly.

“It relieves some of the guilt,” Derek nods.

“Hey Derek?” Derek looks up at Stiles then. “You have nothing to feel guilty about. You were taken advantage of and your family was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“So did you become a cop because of your dad?” Derek changes the subject, the whiskey not helping the pain he feels when talking about his family.

“It was all I ever knew. My dad wasn’t around much when I was a kid. My mom took care of me until she got sick. My dad wasn’t around much when she was dying either. Didn’t even get to say goodbye to her when she passed,” Stiles sighs. “After that, in high school, I started getting into some trouble with Scott. I’d listen in on my dad’s radio and we’d try to solve crimes ourselves. My dad let me help with a few cases. Then I went to college and studied forensics. It was only natural that my dad would hire me as soon as I got out.”

“So you’re not always in the middle of danger?”

“Prefer not to be,” Stiles shrugs. “There are those times I can’t escape it though.”

“Same here,” Derek says. He orders another glass of whiskey while Stiles orders a tequila sour. Derek notices his interest in mixed drinks.

“So you’re divorced?”

Derek laughs, almost spitting out his drink. Stiles is pretty blunt. He gets to the point. It’s kind of a great quality in him. He doesn’t like people who beat around the bush.

“You aren’t subtle at all, are you?” Derek jokes, smiling at Stiles who smiles right back.

“Well you’ve answered all my questions pretty easily so far.”

“I am divorced.” Derek nods, not giving him much more than that.

“When’d you get married? How long were you married for?” Stiles berates.

“We were high school sweet hearts. She was there for me after the fire. We dated for several years. Got married when we turned 21. I’d just graduated from college and immediately went into the fire academy. That’s where I met Boyd,” Derek explains. This part of his life isn’t too hard to talk about. There are happy memories there.

“Sounds like you had a perfect apple pie life,” Stiles says. “What happened?”

“My wife and I loved each other for over a decade. I still love her to this day. But sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes other things get in the way and are too hard to overcome,” Derek sighs. Thinking back to the day Paige asked for a divorce. “She was tired of being scared that I wouldn’t come home one day. That each day was the last she’d see me.”

“I can understand that,” Stiles says. “It’s not easy taking a call, not knowing if you’re going to make it out alive or not.”

“Yeah,” Derek nods. It’s why he doesn’t date people. He doesn’t want to put them through that pain.

“It’s even worse to go home to no one,” Stiles then says, sparking his interest. “No one’s there to worry about you. No one’s there to make sure you’re going to come home okay. This job... it’s a big burden to carry.”

“Yeah, you get it,” Derek says. And Stiles does get it. He’s lives through it everyday. He’s not like Paige. Boyd was right.

“So you were in love with this woman for a good chunk of your life... when did you start fucking dudes?” Stiles asks, trying to make the topic lighter. And it does. Derek laughs which makes Stiles smile.

“When you’ve had more than one failed relationship with a woman, you start to experiment with the other team,” Derek shrugs.

He knew he’d always been attracted to guys. He’d just never had the occasion to try before Paige. It started out with a threesome. He hooked up with this girl at a bar much like the one he’s standing in. The girl had a boyfriend who was open to the idea of inviting someone to join them. Derek was open to it too.

After that, he started just experimenting with guys. Hand jobs and blow jobs first. Then he went the whole mile when he fucked a guy for the first time. That was probably two years after his spilt with Paige.

Derek glances over at their friends who look like they’re wrapping things up at their table, getting ready to go. They all head over and tell them they’re ready to call it a night. Derek didn’t realize how long he’d been talking to Stiles alone.

“Do you need a ride home, Der?” Boyd asks him.

“No, I’m fine. I’ll call a cab. Take your wife home and get a good night’s sleep before the next shift,” Derek says. They pull each other into a bro hug, something they don’t do often, but the alcohol makes them a little more touchy.

They walk out the bar door and Derek is alone with Stiles again. That same heat from the first time is pooling in his stomach. He knows it’s the kind of heat that will make him do something he’ll regret.

“Come home with me,” Stiles says.

“Stiles-“

“I know. I know. Just friends,” Stiles sighs. “But I don’t want to be alone tonight and something tells me that you don’t want to be either.”

“Okay,” Derek relents. He’s to tired to say no. Too tired to fight this. He wants Stiles.

They walk side by side. Derek’s hands are in his pockets while Stiles’ sway at his sides. It’s a stark contrast from two weeks ago when they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. It was so new and exciting. There were no consequences at the time. There are consequences now.

Stiles keeps a steady flow of conversation. He talks about growing up in Beacon Hills. Growing up with Scott. Derek doesn’t mind listening, especially since one of his crew members is marrying Scott. He’ll definitely be seeing more of him.

They make it back to Stiles’ apartment without trouble. The walk seemed quicker, probably because he’s more sober than last time. He’s also sober enough to see that Stiles lives in apartment 10. Something he didn’t catch before.

“So what do you do with the axe?” Stiles asks, a callback to the last time he fumbled to get the door open.

“Lots of stuff. Mostly to cut down debris that’s blocking our ability to save people,” Derek says, happy to talk about his job.

Stiles turns the lights on when they enter. Derek has time to look around the place now. The living room seems more homey than the bedroom. There are more picture frames on tables and walls. Derek goes to look closer at them.

He picks one up that’s resting on a dresser against the closest wall. It’s definitely Stiles in the picture. He’s next to a man the same height as him, graying hair, wearing an olive green sheriff jacket. The only reasonable explanation is that it’s Stiles’ dad.

“That was taken a few years ago. Probably around the time I started working for my dad,” Stiles says.

“You look a lot like him,” Derek comments, running his thumb over the side of the frame where Stiles is. He looks younger, less haunted.

“Us Stilinski men always did take pride in our good looks,” Stiles jokes.

“So your parents named you Stiles Stilinski?” Derek asks. Bit harsh to name your kid something like that.

“Well, no. My name’s not actually Stiles,” He says stepping next to Derek to put the picture back in its proper place.

“What is your name then?”

“Wouldn’t you like it know,” Stiles laughs.

“I would actually,” Derek says taking a step closer to Stiles.

“Kiss me, and maybe I’ll tell you,” Stiles shrugs. Derek doesn’t. Stiles knows he won’t.

Stiles moves around the room cleaning some papers that he left around from case files. Derek continues to look at the pictures. He finds himself looking at this one of Stiles and a beautiful red head for longer than the rest. Something about the way they stand next to each other, the way he looks at her, tells Derek she means something to him.

He doesn’t feel Stiles behind him at first. But he does feel it when Stiles wraps his arms around his waist from behind and kisses the back of his neck, breath tickling his skin.

“Stiles,” Derek tries to whisper in warning. He knew coming here was a bad idea.

He turns around to look at the man. Stiles’ arms don’t let go of his waist, if anything, he grips harder.

“That’s Lydia. We dated briefly in high school until she realized she was using me to get her ex back. Thought I was in love with her for most of my life,” Stiles says, he looks into Derek’s eyes as he says it.

Stiles is about to say something else when Derek lifts his hands and pulls him in to kiss him.

“Shut up,” Derek whispers and kisses him again and again until he runs out of breath.

“Mieczyslaw,” Stiles says between baited breaths.

“What?” Derek asks.

“My name,” Stiles amends.

“Polish?”

“How’d you know?”

“I had a polish grandmother on my father’s side,” Derek explains. She taught him a think or two. “będziesz moją zgubą, Mieczyslaw.”

“Derek,” He whispers back, bringing their lips back together.

Stiles backs them up so Derek’s legs hit the couch and then he falls back with Stiles toppling over him. It feels right to have Stiles straddling him. Stiles is good at grinding down so their cocks glide against each other, blocked by layers of clothing.

“Stiles, I need to take this slow,” Derek interrupts.

“As in there is something to take slow?” Stiles asks.

“I’m scared. Losing my wife almost broke me. I can’t go through that again.”

“You won’t. This is different. I’m different,” Stiles says kissing down Derek’s neck. “I want someone to come home to. I want someone to worry about me again. I want you to worry about me, Derek. Let me worry about you too.”

Derek wants to say no. Knows it would be easier than trying whatever this could be. But he’s also already in deep with Stiles. After meeting him the first time, Derek knew that Stiles felt safe to him. Hell, he smelled like home.

“Okay,” Derek nods, letting Stiles kiss him gingerly. “But... slowly, Stiles.”

“Tell me what you need, Der.”

Stiles is so willing to give him what he wants. He feels he’s kind of lucked out with this one.

“Just lay with me. In bed. Nothing more. I just want to sleep next to you,” Derek admits. He missed sex. He missed kissing. He missed living with someone. Most of all, he missed holding onto someone while he slept. The feeling of safety in a little cocoon of blankets always relaxed him.

Stiles smiles and drags him to the bedroom. They undress. It’s not sexually charged like last time. They only strip to their underwear. Stiles crawls into bed first and then lifts the comforter so Derek can crawl in next to him.

Derek wraps is arms around Stiles so they’re spooning. He feels safe again in this little bedroom in downtown Beacon Hills.

And he knows if he’s not careful, he’s going to fall in love with the man curled in his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Three weeks go by and they don’t tell anyone about them. They’re taking things really slow. They see each other outside of settings where they might see their friends or other people they know. They meet for coffee every Sunday and get dinner every Thursday. It works best with their schedules. Derek stays at the fire station three nights a week. On the days he doesn’t, he ends up at Stiles’ apartment. They sleep better together.

They don’t have sex yet. That’s one of the things Derek needed to go slow with. He wanted to build up some trust first. They already knew the passion was there but they didn’t know if jumping into it all would just be overpowered by the really good sex they had.

He ends up telling Boyd at the end of week two. Can’t keep it in any longer and he knows Boyd won’t tell anyone. He won’t even tell Erica, which is why he trusts Boyd the most.

“I’ve been seeing Stiles for a couple weeks,” Derek says quietly while it’s just the two of them in the gym one afternoon.

“Glad to hear it, man,” Boyd responds. And that’s that.

At the start of the fourth week, Derek is getting a little antsy. They’ve almost been dating for a month. And it’s good. But they should probably talk about some things. Like telling more people. Going public. Having sex again. Derek is starting to get tired of waking up next to Stiles with morning wood and not being able to take care of it.

They’re out on a call one day when the police department pulls up. There’s a missing kid in a apartment building during a power outage and they need all hands on deck. The missing kid is in the jurisdiction of the police department. The fire department is there to help if the kid is injured or if something ignites.

He’s outside by the aid car while his team searches for the kid with some members of the police department. Suddenly he’s being pulled around the vehicle and kissed against his will.

He pulls away a little to see that it’s Stiles. And he’s in his uniform. It’s slimming on him, he looks incredible. Derek kisses him back.

“Why is this the first time I’m seeing you in your uniform?” Derek asks.

“Likewise buddy,” Stiles smiles, not being able to contain his desire enough to not continue making out with Derek. While they’re both on the job.

“Stiles we’ve got a missing kid-“

“They found him. Your team’s taking care of it. Not much we can do from out here,” Stiles interrupts.

“God will you wear this for me?” Derek asks as his hands travel down Stiles’ body and he cups his ass.

“Anytime, any place,” Stiles nods, smiling into another kiss. Their noses brush as their lips part. They can’t bare to keep their faces any further from each other.

“Tonight?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, please,” Derek nods quickly.

“Of course,” Stiles grins. “Want me to bring my handcuffs?”

“Fuck, Stiles-“

“We’re bringing the kid out to you, Derek. Looks like he could use a patch up job,” He hears Erica say over his walkie.

“Copy that,” Derek responds.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Stiles smiles, pecks him one last time, and then sprints back to his squad members.

Erica and Boyd bring the little boy out to him. He doesn’t look to bad. Might have a cut or two. They tell him that the boy tripped down a couple stairs in the basement, hit his head, and passed out for a bit.

Derek patches him up with some bandages for the cuts and does an exam to see if he has a concussion. The mother arrives soon after and Derek tells her to keep a close eye on him. She’s grateful as she takes her boy with her.

Derek is removing his medical gloves when he catches Stiles’ eyes from across the street. They smile at each other and then Derek looks away.

“What’s that smile?” Boyd asks him as they climb into the aid car.

“I’m getting laid tonight,” Derek shrugs.

“Lucky you?” Boyd asks with a hint of pride in his voice.

“Yeah,” Derek nods. “Lucky me.”

The rest of the day isn’t any less exhausting. They take several more calls, all worse than the last. They don’t save everyone but they do what they can. Derek is ready to go home when the last hour is up. He doesn’t even stop to shower. His team notices his rush to leave but don’t say anything.

He almost speeds while driving to Stiles’. Almost only because he doesn’t want to get stopped by a police officer and then have to explain his tardiness to his cop boyfriend.

That’s another thing they needed to talk about. Were they official? Is he right to call Stiles his boyfriend?

He knocks on apartment 10 and Stiles almost immediately opens the door. He’s still wearing his uniform like Derek asked. It takes everything in Derek not to rip it off right then.

“Hi,” Stiles smiles, kissing him as a greeting. The apartment smells great, meaning Stiles definitely cooked.

“Dinner and dessert, huh?” Derek asks.

“Shut up,” Stiles snorts leading him into the kitchen.

Stiles has the table set already. He divides the food up quickly and then they’re sitting across from each other, talking about their days. It’s so domestic and Derek can’t remember the last time he felt like this. Like he could tell someone anything he wanted and they would listen, hang on to every word.

Paige never liked listening to the calls they got at the fire station. Too gruesome for her. Occasionally he would reference a non threatening event where he saved someone and that was enough for her. For both of them, at the time.

But Stiles sits across from him and is so animated as he responds. He’s excited about his own job, excited that they got to work together for once.

“Do you want kids?” Stiles suddenly asks.

Derek almost chokes on his food.

He’s 32. Prime age to be having kids. Should have probably had one or two by now from his first marriage. It was never easy with his job. Bringing a kid into his world just always seemed to difficult.

“Do you?” Derek deflects, not wanting to say the wrong thing.

“I wouldn’t mind one,” Stiles shrugs, the smiles leaves his face a bit as he stares down at his food. He pokes at it, not picking any up with his fork. “It would be nice to keep the Stilinski legacy going. For my dad.”

“I could see myself with a kid or two,” Derek says then. “But not now.”

Stiles cracks a smile, just a little one.

“That would be awfully forward of me considering I haven’t even asked you to be my boyfriend yet,” Stiles says, sipping his wine.

“I thought we already were,” Derek admits. They’d been exclusive since the start. Not interested in seeing other people.

“What happened to slow?”

“I thought three weeks was slow enough,” Derek says. “I’m here practically every night I’m not at the station.”

“Do you want to move in?” Stiles asks.

“No,” Derek says, too quickly for his own liking. “N-not that I don’t want to. I just think it might be a little soon. You haven’t even been to my place yet.”

“Yeah. Okay,” Stiles nods. He’s sweating.

Their going into a lot of uncharted territory. Stiles doesn’t know how to function in a real relationship and he hasn’t really told Derek that. He doesn’t know what’s too fast or too slow. He’s never really been in a relationship that’s lasted longer than a few months and Derek’s already been married. And he’s terrified.

“I’m sorry, I’m bad at this,” Stiles sighs. He gets up to take his finished plate to the sink. Needing the distraction.

He starts running the water and squirts soap into the sink to make it bubble up. Derek is suddenly right there, invading his personal space. He puts his dish into the sink slowly. Stiles continues to scrub at the stains on the plates, focused.

But not focused because he has ADHD and it’s killing him to stand still. He was always bad at washing dishes. Preferred to rinse them off and shove them quickly into the dishwasher. It wasn’t an activity he could move around with.

“Stiles-“

“I’ve never been in a real relationship,” Stiles finally blurts, his hands still in the sink as he looks fearfully at Derek. “Or at least not one that’s lasted longer than a few months.”

“That’s fine,” Derek tells him. “I was in the same relationship with someone for a decade. Time is irrelevant. When you know, you know.”

Stiles has the sudden urge to kiss him, so he does. His hands are still wet and sudsy as he grabs Derek’s neck and pulls him in. Derek happily kisses him back, opening his mouth to let him in. Stiles gets lost in the way Derek’s tongue feels, swirling around against his.

“Fuck,” He breathes.

“How about that dessert?” Derek asks, grinning at him.

Stiles nods, grabbing a towel to dry off his hands and dabs quickly at Derek’s neck where he got him wet. Derek snorts and throws the towel on the counter, pushing Stiles towards the bedroom.

“You’re impatient tonight,” Stiles says against his lips as he shoves Derek against the door. “Might have to teach you a little self-restraint.”

At that, Derek pulls Stiles closer, squeezing his ass with one hand while the other balls into the back of his shirt.

“Derek,” Stiles says, pulling away. Derek chases after his lips. Stiles spins them around and practically throws Derek onto the bed, climbing on top of him.

Stiles is straddling Derek and then he’s pulling out handcuffs. The handcuffs that he totally mentioned he’d bring if Derek wanted him to. And Derek never got to answer because Erica interrupted.

He sits up a bit, leaning in to kiss Stiles. It’s chaste this time. Gentle. Nervous. He never did this kind of thing with Paige. Never had any kinks with her. He finds that he has a lot of kinks with Stiles.

Like the uniform. And pulling on his hair during a blow job. And his long veiny fingers. And now... he thinks he could totally be into some kind of bondage. He’s never been submissive before. Never had occasion.

Okay there was one time with this one guy that really wanted to fuck him. But Derek really wasn’t into that so he left the guy with his pants around his ankles in a bathroom at a house party. He’d been 29 then. Too old to be doing that at a house party anyway.

“I’m going to handcuff you if you can’t behave,” Stiles says sternly. He’s definitely playing a character. Derek is into it. His dick is into it. That also could be Stiles’ warm body sitting in his lap.

“Jesus, Stiles,” Derek feels like he can’t breathe. Can’t think. Realizes this isn’t something he wants right now. Realizes it too late. He shoves Stiles off him as gently as he can and walks out of the room.

His vision starts to blur. The room feels like it’s spinning. He feels like hands are on his body but no one’s there. He rubs at his skin, feeling disgusted by himself each passing second.He makes it to the living room where he drops to the floor, panting. He knows what’s happening. He’s having a panic attack.

He hears Stiles call his name but it’s muffled as he tries to steady his breathing. He thinks about her. About her hands on him. About not being able to move. Not being able to leave. Pain in his wrists from being squeezed too tight.

He eventually calms his breathing. Stiles hands him a glass of water. They sit on the floor in silence.

“Sorry,” He murmurs after a while.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Derek struggles with it. Because it’s a repressed memory and he doesn’t remember it all too well. Or he does but he tries not to. The anniversary of the fire has passed. He should be going back to normal. Not having panic attacks in front of his new boyfriend.

“My ex,” Derek starts, sipping the water again. “I remember why I wasn’t at the house the night of the fire. I was with her.”

“Okay,” Stiles nods, not wanting to pressure him into the story.

“She brought handcuffs. Told me she thought it’d be fun. I was weary about it but I let her,” Derek feels another panic attack coming on. Stiles reaches his hand out and squeezes Derek’s. Grounding him. “She put them on too tight. Didn’t care when I said I was uncomfortable. She fucked me. Or fucked herself on me. I wasn’t hard. She was mad. She hit me. I passed out. I woke up and she was gone. I got myself free and ran home. And my house was up in flames.”

He recites it like facts, distancing himself from the events.

“I’m sorry Derek, if I had known-“

“I didn’t know,” Derek shakes his head, not wanting Stiles to feel guilty. “I wanted that. I was turned on by that. With you.”

“It triggered the memory,” Stiles sighs. “It happens to me too.”

“I’m sorry I messed this up,” Derek apologizes.

“Fuck, don’t be sorry. I think we need to go slower. Save the kinky bondage sex for down the road,” Stiles says, helping Derek off the floor. “If it makes you feel any better, I was going to ask you for a safe word.”

Derek chuckles a little. He likes Stiles. Likes him a lot. He knows how to defuse a situation. Knows how to make him feel lighter rather than heavier.

Derek kisses him then. Soft and slow. His one night stands used to be rushed and rough but this feels better than that ever did. This feels real

He pulls away briefly to slowly start to unbutton the buttons on Stiles’ uniform.

“Are you sure?” Stiles asks him as he gets the last button undone.

He nods and pushes it off his shoulders. Stiles doesn’t have a t-shirt on underneath. He’s blessedly naked from the waist up. And Derek has a minute to take him in. He has a moment to feel lucky that Stiles is his.

He reaches a hand out and runs it down Stiles’ chest. He stands there, not touching Derek in return. Just lets Derek undress him. He reaches for his belt then, whipping it off quickly. He’s not really in a rush, but God does he want Stiles.

They stand there, looking at each other. Stiles doesn’t move to touch Derek.

“You call the shots,” Stiles tells him.

“Do what you want Stiles,” Derek says. Not liking all the control. Wanting this to be about the two of them.

“What I want is for you to take that shirt off.”

“Maybe you should take it off for me.”

So Stiles does. He’s not shy about it. He knows what he wants. His hands start at the bottom hem and then slowly travel up and inside, tracing into his skin. He pushes it up over Derek’s head and then Derek does the rest of the work, tossing it to the ground. Stiles isn’t shy taking his belt off either. He grabs the belt, pulling Derek closer. He kisses him, weirdly soft and hard at the same time. He feels Stiles pull the belt from his waist as they kiss.

Stiles’ hands pop open the top button of his black slacks. Technically he’s still in uniform too, but these are more of his leisure clothes when he’s in the station. Stiles is not ashamed as he shoves them down and Derek kicks them off from around his ankles. Stiles quickly undoes his own pants and shoves those down too.

They both have their underwear still on. The only fabric between them. Stiles is in boxers. He’s in boxer briefs. Stiles pushes them back towards the bedroom, closing the door behind him. The handcuffs are gone. Derek isn’t sure where Stiles put them but doesn’t care because Stiles strips off his boxers and he’s standing there naked as Derek looks at him.

They go to sleep with their clothes on. Derek hasn’t seen Stiles naked in three weeks and he just _wants_. Everything, all at once. Stiles moves in close and slides his hands into the back of Derek’s briefs, squeezing the delicate skin.

He shoves them down for Derek, then backs them both into the bed. Stiles likes being on top. Derek doesn’t mind it all the time. Sometimes it feels good to have Stiles boss him around.

“One day, if you’ll let me, I’d really like to fuck you,” Stiles whispers in his ear. Their cocks brush together, making chills run down their spines.

Derek has never let anyone fuck him. Has never wanted anyone to. But he finds himself open to the idea because it’s Stiles and he trusts him.

“Finger me,” Derek says softly. It couldn’t be too bad to test it out.

“Have you ever tried that before?”

“In high school,” Derek nods. “Found out I liked other things better.”

“So you haven’t stuck fingers in your ass since high school?”

“Maybe once or twice when I was really drunk.”

Stiles smiles at him. “You’re in for a treat.”

He reaches over Derek and grabs the lube from the drawer. Derek seems... nervous really. Stiles can tell he’s out of his element. Stiles also knows that he’s going to make Derek feel really good.

“Safe word... Derek, just tell me to stop if you don’t want it,” He says seriously and Derek nods.

Stiles dabs a good amount of lube onto three of his fingers. He knows Derek’s going to be tight so they’re totally going to take this slow.

He slowly slips one finger in. Derek doesn’t say it, but Stiles knows he’s uncomfortable. It always is the first time. If Derek’s never used any fingers but his own, he’s got to feel a bit weirder than normal. But Stiles pumps the one finger in and out slowly and Derek starts to pant a little.

“More,” He says.

So Stiles adds another. Derek sinks onto it a bit pushing back when Stiles pushes in. He kisses Derek’s inner thigh as he works him open. He can tell the skin is sensitive there by the way it makes him shiver. While he adds a third finger, he shoves in a little deeper and hits Derek’s prostate.

“Fuckshithell,” Derek slurs. His vision goes white for a split second.

“Feels good?” Stiles murmurs, biting the inside of Derek’s thigh now, leaving a purple mark.

“Faster,” Derek begs. Stiles isn’t going to say no to that.

He takes Derek’s neglected dick into his mouth as he starts to scissor him. Derek’s back arches off the bed and he looks so fucking wrecked.

From the few times they had sex before, Stiles knows what Derek looks like when he’s about to come. It’ll only take a few seconds to put him over the edge. So Stiles slams his fingers back in, hitting the prostate good and hard and Derek gasps and then spills into his mouth while moaning.

Stiles’ mouth makes a pop when he lets go of Derek’s dick. He also sucks his fingers into his mouth rather than wiping them on the bed sheets.

Derek reaches out and slams his mouth into Stiles’. He kisses hard as their teeth clatter together. Derek breaks the kiss and takes Stiles’ head in his hands. He slowly brushes some of the hair from his forehead, matted down by sweat.

“I love your mouth,” Derek says, gently swiping his thumb against Stiles’ bottom lip.

“I like your dick,” Stiles replies, gaining a full belly laugh from Derek.

“Want me to return the favor?”

“No,” Stiles says a little exhausted. “I loved that. And for me, tonight was about you. Making sure you felt good.”

“And tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow can be about whatever you want,” Stiles shrugs, laying down next to Derek.

The next morning, Stiles wakes up to Derek sucking his dick. It’s exactly how he wants to wake up for the rest of his life.

* * *

Stiles and Derek don’t talk about telling any of their friends. They’re so wrapped up in their own bubble of sneaking around that they kind of forget. And they like sneaking around. It’s fun and exhilarating. Stiles stops by the station sometimes on duty and they wind up making out in every dark corner. Mostly his private quarters. Because he has that as a lieutenant.

They’re making out on his bed when Stiles suddenly stops, lost in thought as Derek kisses his neck. Derek can feel himself losing Stiles to his thoughts.

“Hey,” Derek says softly and Stiles snaps out of it to look at him. “What’s on your mind?”

“I told Scott I was seeing someone,” He says.

“Okay,” Derek nods. “I told Boyd a few weeks ago.”

“You told Boyd!” Stiles exclaims.

“Boyd didn’t tell anyone.”

“He could tell Erica.”

“He won’t.”

“Scott told Isaac.”

“Okay.”

“Stop being so cool about this!”

Derek is confused. He sits up and Stiles follows him. He thought they were good. They were exclusive. They were actually dating. Confirmed they were boyfriends almost a week and a half ago. The sneaking around was only going to last for so long.

“Stiles, are you not okay with people knowing about us?”Derek asks.

“No, of course not,” Stiles shakes his head. “I just... I wanted to make sure you were okay with it. You’re a pretty private person. I didn’t want to just go and blab to everyone about my hot firefighter boyfriend if you weren’t okay with it.”

“Hot firefighter boyfriend, huh?” Derek teases, stealing a quick kiss. “What if I want to blab about my sexy cop boyfriend?”

“Go right ahead,” Stiles laughs into a rushed kiss. “Tell me all about him.”

“Well,” Derek says, kissing the left side of Stiles’ neck. “He looks great in a uniform.”

Derek goes to the other side and gives the right side of Stiles’ neck another kiss. Right under his jaw. Stiles sucks in a breath.

“More?”

“He does this thing with his tongue that-“ Stiles muffles the rest of his words by kissing Derek hard.

“Don’t tell anyone about that,” Stiles blushes. “That’s just for you.”

“Okay,” Derek smiles.

“So you wanna go public?”

“Yeah, Stiles. I wouldn’t mind telling my team where I go most nights.”

Stiles nods and then drifts again. Stuck in his thoughts. For someone who moves so much, it gets a little scary when he’s like this, not moving at all, just thinking. Derek nudges him and they make eye contact again. Derek raises his eyebrows in question. He knows there’s more.

“There’s this thing,” Stiles says, avoiding eye contact now, picking at his cuticles. Derek learned it’s a nervous tick of his. “It’s this, uh, gala type thing that several department districts put on for the FD and PD. There’s dinner, dancing, donations, and raffle stuff.”

“Okay,” Derek nods.

“Do you want to go as my date?”

“I’d love to.”

“It’s in a week. I thought maybe we could just tell everyone then. Show up together, sit together, dance together.”

“Everything together, huh?” Derek laughs, nudging him. “It sounds perfect Stiles.”

“Okay,” Stiles nods. “I totally lied to everyone earlier saying I was here on police business. I’m actually on my lunch break and I should get back.”

“Call me later?”

“You got it, babe,” Stiles grins, giving Derek one last lingering kiss before walking out the door.

Derek sits on his bed for a while. Then lays down and looks up at the ceiling. His turn to think now. First time Stiles has called him any sort of nickname. It’s cute, he decides. He likes it.

Soon he gets up and heads into the kitchen. Boyd is sitting with Isaac in the dining area. He wants to talk to Boyd but with Isaac right there, it’s kind of difficult. So he grabs some food and takes a seat with them, staying quiet.

“Scott told me Stiles is seeing someone,” Isaac begins the conversation with. Not that he’s surprised. Isaac kind of loves gossip.

Derek just nods as he chews on his food. He knows. Obviously. But Stiles wants to tell everyone in a week. He can go one more week without blabbing.

“You missed your chance man!” Isaac scolds.

Derek just shrugs. Did he? He wants to laugh at Isaac. He gets the joke.

“Maybe they’re not that serious,” Boyd suggests to Isaac. Playing it cool. “Derek could still have a shot.”

“No man, Scott told me that Stiles is serious about this dude. They’ve been seeing each other for weeks.” Isaac continues. Totally oblivious. “Must have met him right after you guys hooked up or something. Can’t believe you turned him down!”

Derek just stares at his food. He hates lying to Isaac. Well, he’s not exactly lying he’s just not saying anything. Whatever helps him sleep at night.

Isaac leaves eventually. He can tell that Isaac only told him because he still thought Derek and Stiles should be a thing. He’ll be happy when he finds out. Eventually...

“You could tell him the truth,” Boyd says when they’re alone.

“Stiles wants us to tell everyone at the PDFD Gala.”

“I guess I can keep your secret for another week.”

“Like you’d ever spill to begin with,” Derek laughs.

“You’re lucky I like you and that I’m not afraid of my wife.”

“I’m afraid of your wife.”

Boyd shrugs. “Good.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all I have so far and I'm not sure how long I plan on this work being at the end. Hope you'll all bear with me through this journey. Finals are next week and I'll be unemployed once the semester's over, so I should have a decent amount of free time to work on this. Thank you for the kudos and any feedback you might have is really appreciated. :)

The week passes by quickly to Friday night. Derek and his team got the okay to go to the gala a while ago. He wasn’t going to go before he met Stiles. He didn’t really like the galas. He used to take Paige. He stopped going when he didn’t have anyone to go with. And being an out firefighter wasn’t always the easiest. There were still some people who weren’t as accepting. Which totally sucked.

Derek is finishing getting ready when he hears a knock on his door. He sprints to the door while adjusting his tie. He’s ready to go. And the drive isn’t too far. It’s just out of town.

He opens the door and Stiles is standing there, suited up as well. He can see the moment Stiles’ jaw is about to drop. And then it does. And then he’s blushing. He blushes? That’s new.

Stiles steps through the door, closes it behind him and brings Derek into a kiss. It’s slow and pretty chaste. Tension somehow bleeds out of Derek’s bones as the seconds pass. He’s not worried about coming out to his friends. He’s more worried about other officers and firefighters will react to this new relationship.

“You look fucking amazing in a suit,” Stiles says.

“Thank you,” Derek grins. “You don’t look too bad yourself.

Derek’s hands glide down Stiles’ body. He’s wearing a classy black suit. He has a skinny black tie to pull the whole thing together. It’s not Stiles. Stiles is graphic tees, jeans, and plaid button downs. And he loves that Stiles. But he thinks he might love this Stiles too. He looks incredible.

“You’re wearing a bow tie,” Stiles points out, grabbing it and adjusting it only slightly as he speaks.

“I am,” Derek nods looking down at it and then back up at Stiles. There’s a sort of hunger in his eyes.

“I like it,” He settles on saying.

Derek smiles shyly. He wasn’t one to dress up either. He preferred his work uniform or jeans and a Henley. But he wasn’t going to deny the fact that he looked good.

“So this is your place,” Stiles says, walking past him into his spacious loft. He looks around, taking in the bareness of the room. “I don’t know if you know this, but there’s a giant hole in your wall.”

“Yeah I never gave much thought to fixing it,” Derek shrugs.

“You could get your landlord to look at it.”

“Oh the landlord knows,” Derek says, kissing Stiles’ cheek. “He never gave much thought to fixing it.”

“Are you the landlord?” Stiles asks. “You own this building?”

Derek shrugs. “My parents owned it. I inherited it.”

“Are you like... rich?”

“I’m... well-off.”

“Dude, you’re like my sugar daddy and I didn’t even know it,” Stiles says, hitting his chest.

“Don’t call me dude or sugar daddy ever again, please,” Derek scrunches his nose up. Not liking the sound of either.

“But you pay for everything. You never let me pay for anything. This is why. Because you’re swimming in cash!”

“It’s not a big deal,” Derek huffs, he wraps his arms around Stiles’ waist. “Besides, I like taking care of you.”

“I like being taken care of,” Stiles admits.

He took care of his dad for a long time. It was nice having someone else take care of him for a change.

“We should get going. I’ll give you a full tour of the loft later tonight. I’ll make sure to start with the bedroom,” Derek says, kissing his cheek.

“The was first on my list anyway,” Stiles grins.

They take Derek’s Camaro to the gala. Stiles has never been inside it and he decides that he really likes it. Derek is wealthy and he can afford things like cool cars and whole ass buildings. And it definitely turns Stiles on a bit because Derek is humble and kind but he’s also kind of powerful.

When they arrive at the ballroom, they’re nervous. They agreed that they’d keep the PDA to a minimum. They don’t even hold hands as they walk into the venue. There’s a lot of people. A lot of officers and firefighters and their respective dates. Stiles doesn’t like crowded spaces, but he hasn’t told Derek that yet.

They walk side by side as they make their around the entire room, trying to find people they know and a place to sit.

Isaac finds them first. “You guys made it!”

“Yeah we lost track of time,” Stiles says.

“Oh, you guys came together?” Isaac asks

“Yeah,” Derek looks at Stiles. “We did.”

“Awesome,” Isaac says and leads them to a table with the rest of their friends.

“Derek, Stiles, nice to see you both,” Erica says. She looks gorgeous in a long silver dress. It hugs her body in all the right places. Boyd’s a lucky guy.

They all converse over drinks while more people start arriving. Stiles keeps stealing glances at Derek. And Derek can feel him watching. Stiles leans over and adjusts his tie because apparently it went crooked.

He leans in close to whisper in Derek’s ear. “I want you wearing this and nothing else when I go down on you tonight,” He discreetly bites Derek’s earlobe before he pulls away.

Derek tries really hard to play it cool. It doesn’t help when Stiles doesn’t move that far away and slides his hand up Derek’s leg and then to his inner thigh. Sneaky bastard.

“So you guys, how did this happen?” Isaac asks.

“Hmm?” Stiles hums, taking his concentration away from Derek.

“How did you end up coming together?”

“Long story,” Stiles snorts. “Hey, I think I see Parrish. I’m going to go talk to him real quick.”

Derek sits there kind of awkwardly around his table of friends. Does he have to explain the entire situation? Does he have to say, “hey I’ve been lying to you guys for weeks... sorry” to the people who trust him the most? Scott is at the gala with Isaac and he looks sympathetic, especially because Stiles, his date, ditched him already.

Erica and Isaac get up to go get more drinks and he’s left with Boyd and Scott for a bit. None of them speak. Until Scott does because he’s apparently not as accustomed to the silence as they are.

“Stiles told me a couple weeks ago,” Scott says. “I’m happy for him.”

“Derek told me like a month ago,” Boyd says, uninterested. “I’m glad someone else knows.”

What can Derek say, he’s not great at keeping secrets. Especially from Boyd. They’ve always had a rule about full transparency. Boyd always came to him about anything. He always went to Boyd. It’s just how they worked. It’s how best friends work.

“People definitely know now,” Scott says, lifting his drink up in a _cheers_ fashion. Boyd and Derek follow.

“Hey handsome,” Stiles says, approaching the table again. “You wanna dance?”

“Sure,” Derek nods. The song turns slow as they step out onto the ballroom floor.

Not a ton of people have started dancing yet, occupied by getting drinks or talking. Derek doesn’t focus on the other people though, he focuses on Stiles. He focuses on the way it feels to hold him as they sway back and forth. Stiles’ head is resting against his shoulder and he leans his own head against his. They close their eyes as they pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

“You know, it’s nice seeing them as friends,” Isaac says, sitting back down with the rest of his friends. Watching Stiles and Derek on the dance floor.

“Oh yeah, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Erica says, rolling her eyes a bit.

“Are you both that oblivious?” Boyd suddenly asks. “They’re dating.”

“Oh, I know,” Erica laughs. “I’ve known for a while.”

“Wait what?” Isaac says in shock.

“I was just waiting for Isaac to figure it out,” She shrugs. “You are a little oblivious, sweetie.”

“How did you know? Derek only told me,” Boyd asks her. He didn’t let anything slip.

“That night we all went out for drinks. Derek didn’t leave with us, he left with Stiles.”

“How did you-“

“It was easy to piece together as the weeks went on. Derek was less bossy, which totally meant he was getting laid or something,” Erica shrugs. “Stilinski’s always at the station on “police business” but really he just goes to Derek’s room and they make out.”

“You’re a genius,” Boyd sighs, kissing her. He didn’t even have to lie to her. She figured it out.

“You told me Stiles was seeing someone,” Isaac says to Scott. “Did you know?”

“Yeah Stiles told me,” He nods, ashamed. “I didn’t tell you it was Derek because I figured he wouldn’t want me to.”

“Wow. I’m disappointed in all of you,” Isaac shakes his head.

He looks over at Derek and Stiles who are now looking at each other with their foreheads pressed together. Derek leans in and kisses the corner of Stiles’ mouth. Isaac knows what it’s like to feel that way about someone. He glances over at his fiancé, squeezes his hand. Scott smiles back.

“Okay they are really cute,” He sighs.

Derek and Stiles come back to the table shortly after the slow dance is over. The table is staring at them when they sit down. Well, mostly Isaac.

“I’m the last one to know about the two of you?” Isaac exclaims.

“We said we came together,” Derek says slowly.

“I thought you meant as friends!”

“That is... not our problem?” Stiles decides.

“We are sorry we didn’t tell you sooner,” Derek says. “But we’re both bad at this.”

“I haven’t been in a relationship that’s lasted longer than a couple months. Derek was married to the same person for a decade and he’s gay,” Stiles says. “We just wanted it for ourselves for a little longer. We didn’t want to mess it up.”

“We understand and we forgive you,” Erica says, raising her glass and the rest of them do the same.

“But Erica totally figured it out first,” Boyd says, slapping Derek’s chest with the back of his hand.

Derek shakes his head. His friends. His teammates. What geniuses.

The night goes by successfully. Stiles drags him around the venue to introduce him to his work friends. He gets to meet Jordan Parrish, Stiles’ partner at the station. He also meets some people that worked under Stiles’ dad when he was sheriff. The memories are good, but he can tell it takes a lot out of Stiles to talk about his father.

Stiles participates in some of the raffles, going in on random gift baskets, promising to share with Derek if he wins. Derek just flat out donates some money because he can, and it makes Stiles smile. They’re still learning things about each other even after a month of dating.

Like Derek learned that Stiles is mildly allergic to the chestnuts that were in the salad for dinner. Stiles learned that Derek has two left feet when they try to actually ballroom dance. Which caused Derek to learn that Stiles was an incredible dancer and took lessons in college to impress a girl. Stiles is charismatic and Derek is shy but they work well together.

Erica steals Stiles away sometimes because Boyd is almost equally, if not, worse of a dancer than Derek. And their two significant others work well together. Derek suddenly does not like the duo, and he can tell Boyd’s thinking the same thing. They’ll be too powerful once they get to know each other even better.

Scott and Isaac mostly stay and sit at the table. Isaac isn’t a big fan of crowds, Derek knows this from experience. He doesn’t like to feel closed in because of shit his father did to him as a kid. Derek still tells Isaac he’ll take care of his father for him. He’d never have to see him again. The man wouldn’t be casually living in that house on Mayfair Boulevard. Not if Derek had anything to do with it. Isaac always declines.

Stiles gets tired after a while. Asks Derek if they can go home. Derek is on board with anything if it makes Stiles happy. And he gets exhausted from human interaction after awhile too.

They wave their friends goodbye but the entire table is getting ready to leave too. They’re all relatively in their late 20s to early 30s and turn in at midnight like old folks. It’s the job. And they all most definitely have to work the next day.

Stiles and Derek escape first, they head out to find Derek’s car, holding hands this time.

“Didn’t realize you were a fag, Stilinski,” Someone says behind them.

It causes Stiles to stop in his tracks even though Derek knows it’s best if they just keep walking.

Stiles turns around but doesn’t approach the guy. “What’s it to you, Murphy?”

“Nothing. Just surprising is all. Although, I’d be happy to let you suck my dick. You’re probably cheap,” The man, Murphy, shrugs. He has a stupid grin on his face that Derek wouldn’t mind punching.

“Hey, knock it off,” Derek says.

“What are you going to do? Hit me? I can take a punch from a lady, but that wouldn’t be fair to me because I can’t hit back.”

“Okay fuck you,” Stiles says, about to go after him but Derek grabs his arm before he can move.

“Stiles, it’s not worth it,” Derek says. Stiles relents but he tears his arm away from Derek.

“Hey, everything okay here?” Boyd asks, approaching with Erica in tow.

“We’re fine,” Derek nods. “Just some lowlife wanting attention.”

“Is that what your dad thought of you when he found out you were a fag, Stiles?” Murphy asks.

Derek doesn’t even have time to grab Stiles that time before he’s barreling at Murphy and punching him right in the jaw. It makes the man stumble, holding his injured face.

Stiles is able to dodge Murphy’s returning punch but then he swings quickly with his other arm and Stiles falls to the ground out of surprise. Murphy falls with him and gives him another punch before Stiles is able to knee him in the gut.

Derek goes to help but is tackled by another dude who comes out of nowhere. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Boyd run after another guy who’s about to join in. Derek fights back and finally gets the guy pinned down after a while. Boyd has similar luck, his guy barely even getting a punch in. Erica goes to help Stiles up when Murphy is below him.

She pushes Stiles behind her as Murphy tries to get back up. She presses a heel into his jugular and he doesn’t try it.

“You’re going to stay down. You’re all going to stay down,” She says. “You’re law enforcement. What the fuck do you think you’re doing!”

Erica is scary. And Derek is grateful that she’s on their side.

A couple other guys run to help. Luckily they had some on duty officers at the gala who provide handcuffs for the three delinquents.

“He punched first!” Murphy cries, pointing at Stiles.

“Murphy, if you don’t play your cards right, you’re going to get your badge revoked and spend a couple nights in jail for a hate crime,” A female officer tells him, Derek sees him cringe as she tightens the cuffs a little too tight.

Parrish is jogging up to make sure everyone is okay. He stops next to Stiles who is spitting out blood from his mouth.

“Do you want to file a report?” Parrish asks him.

“No,” Stiles shakes his head.

“Stiles-“ Derek tries to say but Stiles cuts him off.

“I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to let him win. I can handle a few punches from a homophobic asshole.”

Stiles pushes past all of them and heads towards Derek’s car. This was definitely not how the night was supposed to end.

“Thanks you guys,” Derek sighs. Parrish claps him on the shoulder and Boyd nods at him.

“Call if you need anything,” Boyd says.

Derek nods and walks away to find Stiles. Stiles is near the car but has taken to kicking a tree to get the rest of his pent up aggression out.

“Come on, I’m taking you home,” Derek calls.

Stiles doesn’t look at him before giving one last kick to the tree. He hops in Derek’s car eventually and doesn’t say a word the whole way back to the loft.

Derek runs to the freezer to get Stiles a bag of peas since that’s the closest he can find to an ice pack. Stiles is plopped down on his couch on the main floor when he hands over the peas. He grumbles as he shoves them on his face.

Stiles has a black eye and a split lip. His white button up underneath his suit jacket is bloody. His tie is mangled. His knuckles are turning purple.

Derek is kind of the opposite. He didn’t let the dude that tackled him punch his face. His ribs might be bruised and his knuckles are definitely sore but he can handle that.

“Stiles?”

“Fuck,” Stiles curses as he throws the bag of peas down on the coffee table. “I’m sorry I got you involved in that.”

“It’s fine, I just want to make sure you’re okay,” Derek sighs, taking a seat on the coffee table, grabbing the peas to put them back on Stiles’ face even if he groans in protest.

“Murphy’s had it out for me since dad died,” Stiles says. “He knows I’m gunning for sheriff in a few years. I want to live up to my dad’s legacy. But he thinks he deserves the job more.”

“So he wanted to pick a fight with you,” Derek says and Stiles nods. Derek reaches out to put a comforting hand on Stiles’ knee. It makes his muscles relax slightly.

“Lucky for me he’s an absolute moron and doesn’t realize that hate crimes are a thing,” Stiles rolls his eye, the one that’s not covered by the bag of peas. “For fuck’s sake, my dad knew I was bi. He knew for years! And he started a zero tolerance policy when he was in charge. The station’s gone to the dogs since the interim sheriff stepped in.”

“I think fighting him tonight was stupid,” Derek tells Stiles. “But I also think you’re brave for standing up to him. It’s something I have a hard time doing myself.”

“You’re mine now,” Stiles tells him, setting the makeshift ice pack down again to grab Derek’s face in his hands. “I’ll fight your battles for you. I got your back. You can have mine.”

“I’m yours, huh?” Derek smirks.

Stiles leans in to kiss him but cringes at the contact, lip very much not healed.

“How about I show you my bedroom and I go down on you while wearing the bow tie as a reward for your stupid, yet heroic, act tonight,” Derek suggests.

“I don’t deserve you,” Stiles says.

“What can I say, I’m pretty amazing,” Derek shrugs.

Stiles comes three times that night.

* * *

A few days pass normally. Derek doesn’t see Stiles because they’re both on busy schedules. His team is relentless about their relationship anyway, even if Derek doesn’t bring his significant other up at all. Isaac really just wants to get back at him for being the last to know.

Erica’s at desk duty when Stiles shows up. She doesn’t know him that well, they’ve only met a few times but she’s already decided they’re going to be best friends. Stiles lights up a little when he sees her, but there’s a strain in his usual peppy features.

“Didn’t expect you to come by today,” She says. “Police business?”

It’s a joke because of all the times he used that excuse before, but Stiles doesn’t even crack a smile at it. She also notices that he’s in civilian clothes, even though she’s pretty sure Derek mentioned that Stiles was going to be on duty for the next few days and wouldn’t be able to get drinks with them.

“Actually it is this time,” Stiles sighs.

“In street clothes?” She asks because she likes to pry.

“Yeah,” His response is clipped and he sounds stressed so she doesn’t push.

“You looking for Derek?” Boyd asks, coming down the flight of stairs that leads to Derek’s office.

“Yeah,” Stiles nods. “You too, actually.”

“Oh,” Boyd says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I can show you to his office.”

“That’s not necessary,” Stiles says quickly. “I’ll talk to him and have him relay the information to you.”

Boyd just nods. Stiles can’t read his face, but he has other things to worry about. He heads for the stairs but Erica calls after him.

“He’s in a mood today,” She tells him. “So just... be gentle.”

Stiles turns his head back to her and nods. He takes a deep breathe and then continues to head up the stairs. Derek’s door is wide open but he’s focused on paper work when Stiles approaches. He knocks on the door to alert the fire Sargent of his presence.

Derek looks up quickly at the interruption. He had looked stressed before Stiles arrived but when he sees who’s interrupted him he seems to relax.

He gets up from the chair at his desk, ushering Stiles in. Stiles walks in slowly, weary of the atmosphere and weary about giving Derek the news that he’s keeping in.

“I didn’t know you were stopping by today,” Derek says, quickly kissing his cheek. “I would have cleared some of my schedule to have lunch.”

“It’s okay,” Stiles says. “I didn’t know I was coming either.”

“What’s up?” Derek asks. “Aren’t you supposed to be on shift? Where’s your uniform?”

Stiles sighs and turns away from Derek, trying to regain a semblance of composure. He scrubs a hand down his face and then turns back to look at his boyfriend.

“I got suspended,” Stiles finally admits.

“You what?” Derek asks, eyes widening in concern.

“Fucking Murphy actually went and pressed charges,” Stiles explains. “He wants to take me to trial. Get this put on my record.”

“And they’re suspending you for it?” Derek is in disbelief.

“Until the case gets resolved,” Stiles nods. “And there’s more. Which is why I’m here.”

“What else?”

Stiles is frustrated. He wants to punch something. Even wants to yell. But not at Derek.

“Fuck,” He breathes, looking down. “They sent me here to tell you that they’re suspending you too because of your involvement.”

“You’re joking,” Derek laughs.

“And Boyd.”

“For what?!” Derek exclaims. “That dude tackled me!”

“I know but-“

“God damnit, Stiles I told you not to do that!” Derek interrupts.

“What was I supposed to do, Derek?” Stiles raises his voice a little in desperation. “Nothing?!”

“Yes!” Derek yells back. “Stiles, this is my job we’re talking about. You know how important this is to me.”

Now Stiles is mad at Derek. He really expected him to do nothing? Murphy insulted him. He called him a derogatory slur. He brought his dad into it. How else was he supposed to respond?

“So your job is more important than my pride?” Stiles asks. “Derek, he called me, us, fags straight to our faces. He brought my dead father into the conversation. And you wanted me to do nothing!?”

“I told you it was a stupid idea!” Derek argues.

“That’s not what you were saying the other night when you were sucking my dick!” Stiles shouts back.

“Okay you can leave if you’re going to be a child about this,” Derek shakes his head.

“You know what, fuck you Derek,” Stiles says. It’s quiet and pointed, like he really means it. “You’re my partner. You’re supposed to stick up for me, not make me feel like absolute shit.”

“Stiles-“

“Just shut up,” Stiles shouts. “Call me when you pull your head out of your ass.”

Stiles storms off without letting Derek respond. Derek slams the door after he’s gone. The door should have been shut the moment Stiles walked in. No doubt a majority of his coworkers, his subordinates, heard most of the conversation. He’s such an idiot.

Derek takes some time to cool off. He goes straight to his captain who has already been debriefed on the matter. The captain isn’t happy about it, mostly about the unfairness of the situation, but it’s out of his hands. He gets to finish the rest of his shift before the suspension goes into effect.

He pulls Boyd into his office to debrief him after he talks to the captain. Boyd is much more calm about the situation than Derek was when Stiles told him.

“Stiles kind of gave me a heads up,” Boyd tells him.

“Okay,” Derek sighs. He suddenly collapses into his desk chair and puts his head in his hands. He’s just so exhausted.

“You know this is going to get resolved,” Boyd tells him. “They’re going to take this to a judge, the judge is going to see what kind of bastard Murphy is, and the suspension will be lifted. We’ll go away without a mark on our records. Some assholes just want to be spiteful because a certain sexual orientation or race doesn’t sit right with them.”

“Boyd I’m really sorry you got pulled into all this,” Derek says.

“I don’t think I’m the one you should be apologizing to,” Boyd says pointedly.

Derek agrees.

After his shift is over, he goes to Stiles’ apartment. He knocks a handful of times but no one answers. He would suspect that Stiles is just ignoring him but he feels like maybe he’s just really not home.

He pulls out his phone and dials Isaac’s number.

“Der?” Isaac asks when he picks up.

“Would Scott know where Stiles is?”

There’s silence on the other end of the line. He can vaguely hear Isaac shouting to Scott.

“It’s Wednesday,” Isaac finally says. “Scott said it’s usually the day he goes to see his dad.”

“Thank you,” Derek sighs. They hang up after saying quick goodbyes.

Derek heads to the only cemetery in town where he’s sure Stiles will be. He also hasn’t been to the cemetery in a handful of years to visit his own family. He hasn’t dealt with the grief all that well.

He spots a powder blue Jeep in the parking lot when he pulls in. He parks a few spots a way and heads out to find Stiles. It’s fairly easy. There aren’t many other people around and Stiles is alone. He’s standing in front of a big headstone. There’s no guessing whose it is.

Derek slowly approaches, Stiles’ back is still to him. He quietly wraps his arms around Stiles’ waist and nuzzles his head into his neck.

Stiles gasps softly, not expecting the intrusion but his hands tight against Derek’s. He immediately senses that there’s no threat.

“How’d you know I was here?”

“Scott,” Derek shrugs.

Stiles is quiet for a bit. He stares down at his dad’s headstone, next to what Derek can only assume is his mom’s as well.

“He would have liked you,” Stiles tells him. Derek kisses his neck in response.

“Stiles, I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier. It was unprofessional,” Derek says.

Stiles turns to look at him finally, causing Derek to let go of his waist.

“To be fair, I did tell your whole station that you were sucking my dick,” Stiles sighs.

“Like they all didn’t already know that,” Derek snorts.

Stiles grins in response, the moment feeling more lighthearted by each passing second. Stiles raises his hands to squeeze Derek’s biceps. He runs his hands against the leather that’s coating his skin.

“You are wearing leather,” He notes.

“You better get used to it. I’m retiring my uniform for a bit,” Derek shrugs.

“Oh I am certainly into it,” Stiles nods and kisses Derek, biting his bottom lip softly. “Let’s get out of here. I don’t want to make-out with my boyfriend in front of my parents.”

“Good call,” Derek snorts, taking Stiles’ hand. He guides them away from their plots. His eyes catch a few plots and he stalls. Stiles notices.

“How long has it been since you visited them?”

“Years,” Derek admits.

“Do you want to?”

“No,” Derek says. “I can’t.”

“Okay,” Stiles nods and leads them away from the rest of the plots.

Derek’s lucky to have him. Paige was great but she probably wouldn’t have gotten it. Stiles, a man who lost his family too, understands that kind of grief. Probably the denial too.

They head back to Derek’s loft. They end up at his place every other week and when Derek’s not sleeping at the station. The place is spacious for the two of them and Derek can tell that Stiles feels more at home in his own apartment. He feels the same. The loft never felt like home when he moved in after his divorce.

Derek is mulling around in the kitchen while Stiles sits on the couch, sprawled out so his legs are taking up the entire thing. He’s tapping away at the keyboard on his laptop. He hasn’t taken a break since they got home. Derek isn’t sure what he’s doing but by the deep set in his eyebrows, he knows it’s not something pleasant.

He scoops up the two cups of coffee he made and walks them both over to Stiles. Finally, the wiry man looks up at him. His hands freeze and he seems to relax when Derek hands him a cup. It’s Star Wars themed. And Derek’s not going to tell Stiles that he bought it specifically for him when he found out about the man’s fondness for the films.

“What are you doing?” Derek asks, pushing Stiles’ legs up so he can sit underneath them. He gently lays them down so they’re resting on his lap.

“Oh you know, just looking into Murphy’s records for any evidence that will help me destroy him in court,” Stiles shrugs, sipping his coffee.

“Is that legal?”

“Considering I’m a police officer and have access to all BHPD files, technically,” Stiles says and Derek gives him a look. “I say technically because I’m not allowed to look at files when I’m suspended.”

“So I’m dating a guy who illegally hacks into the local police department for dirt on a guy who totally deserves it?” Derek asks, not looking at Stiles as he sets his mug on the coffee table.

“I’m a bit like Robin Hood, aren’t I?” Stiles grins cheekily.

“A vigilante,” Derek says. “I suppose I could get behind that. If it is for the greater good.”

“Mmm,” Stiles hums, setting his mug and laptop down to scoot into Derek’s lap. “I steal from the rich to save the poor, what can I say?”

Stiles smiles as he leans down to kiss Derek. His hands settle on Derek’s shoulders and slowly slide up to rest on both sides of his neck. Derek slips his hands underneath Stiles’ shirt and glides them over tender skin.

Stiles’ breath hitches as Derek slowly slides his hand to caress his ass. The movement somehow moves them at the right angle and their clothed erections grind together. They pant in each other’s mouths as they continue to kiss.

“Not that I want to ruin the mood but I think we should talk,” Stiles murmurs against his lips.

Derek can’t be so easily swayed. They talked. It was cleared up. Nothing to worry about.

“What about?” He asks anyway, mouthing at Stiles’ neck in the process.

“You know what about,” Stiles sighs, climbing off Derek’s lap. He gets off the couch and paces around the room.

Derek doesn’t want to be the first one to speak. His still insanely horny and not at all ready to talk about anything serious. He doesn’t want this to lead to another fight.

“I apologized,” Derek finally says because Stiles won’t stop pacing.

“I know,” Stiles suddenly stops. “We had a fight, Derek. Our first fight as a couple.”

“And we survived it.”

“Did we?” Stiles asks.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Derek gets off the couch too. He doesn’t like not being level with Stiles. Being talked down to makes him feel insecure.

“We just kind of brushed it off like it was nothing. But it wasn’t nothing. At least not to me,” Stiles says.

“Okay,” Derek nods.

“I fight for myself, Derek,” He explains. “I always have. I stick it to the man. When something’s not right, I stand up. I get into trouble. I get in situations others aren’t thrilled to be in. And that’s not going to stop. This is one occurrence but I’ve been doing it my whole life.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’ve spent nights in jail. I didn’t tell you because I thought maybe you’d look at me differently. But I think you need to know. I’ve always been really passionate about LGBTQ rights. And my dad always taught me to stand up for who I was. I need you to be okay with that for this to work.”

“I’m not going to say I enjoy seeing you get into fights. I’m not gonna say I like the thought of you going to jail for these things. But I’m not going to stop you from doing what you feel is right,” Derek tells him. “I’m supportive of you. And I know it didn’t sound like it earlier, but I am.”

“I get it. I know how important your job is to you. I know why it’s important to you. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset when you tried to defend yourself,” Stiles says.

Derek is quiet for a while. Stiles knows all about the fire. He’s read his dad’s records. Heard his dad talk about it for years. Derek barely talks about it. He mentions some things here and there but most of what Stiles knows is from secondary sources.

What Stiles knows from Derek, is that he feels guilty. And fighting fires, saving other people, helps with that guilt.

Stiles finally stops pacing and wraps his arms around Derek’s neck. He can tell that Derek was in his head for a bit and has now refocused his attention on the conversation they were having.

“Hey, I’m all in here,” Stiles tells him, drawing the focus of Derek’s eyes to his.

“I am too,” Derek says. So they’re on the same page. “And I’ll fight for you.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Stiles sighs.

He’s happy. Most people wouldn’t understand him, but Derek does. That’s what’s important.


	5. Chapter 5

Since Derek and Boyd are both suspended from work, they take to going on runs every morning to stay in shape. He always offers Stiles the opportunity to join, knowing the man is bored too, but he normally declines. He’s pretty perceptive and can tell that sometimes Derek just needs time away with his best friend. Someone who knows a lot more about him than Stiles does at this point. Derek knows eventually that Stiles will learn everything too. It’s only a matter of time.

Boyd isn’t as upset about their extended “vacation” as Derek is. Being firemen is important to both of them, but Boyd doesn’t do it because it helps him cope with guilt. Boyd does it because he’s a good guy. A better one than Derek could ever hope to be. And his best friend also looks at it like an actual vacation. Since they don’t get much of that when they’re working 24-48 hours shifts most weeks.

Though they’re a pretty silent pair on most occasions, sometimes they slow down to run things by each other. Boyd mentions that he and Erica are talking about kids. They’ve been married almost as long as Derek had been. They’re not getting any younger and Erica is having baby fever. They haven’t thought it all through. Not sure how they’d do it with both of them working at the station. Boyd reveals that Erica wouldn’t mind lowering her hours. Derek can tell that they’d be happy. And he knows they’d make great parents.

Boyd’s kind of the only person that knows all the details of the fire. About his family. He’s gotten them drunk on more occasions than one and alcohol just has Derek spilling his guts. But sometimes, he’s honest with Boyd sober. Like now. When he tells Boyd that Peter’s condition has took a turn.

“He’s improving?” Boyd asks as they suddenly stop to catch their breaths.

“It’s a miracle,” Derek nods. “I’ve been visiting him every few weeks since the fire and they always told me there would be no change. That he’d be unresponsive for the rest of his life.”

“This is good news then?”

“I hope so,” Derek sighs, he wipes the sweat from his brow. “He deserves the chance to pull through this. He might not ever be the same but if I could just give him his life back-“

“You’re doing that thing again,” Boyd stops him.

“What thing?”

“The thing where you blame yourself,” Boyd says pointedly. “Man, I thought therapy would help you get over this guilt.”

“To be honest, I haven’t gone in a while.”

Not since he met Stiles. Well, even before that he wasn’t going as much. Boyd had recommended a trauma specialist to him a year after his divorce. And it was good for a while. He opened up in therapy. He cried. He laughed. He got angry. It even helped him open up to coming out as a gay man, with no regrets.

And then work got to be too much and he snapped back into his same old routine. It didn’t change when he met Stiles. He knew having someone in his life was good for him, but opening up was still hard. It’s something he could definitely get help with in therapy. But sometimes he was just too stubborn to try.

Boyd talks him into setting up another appointment. He promises his friend that he’ll do it. When they make promises, they don’t break them. There’s a deep trust between the two of them, and breaking a promise to the one person who has always cared, seems like betrayal. They finish their run eventually and get coffee afterwards. Boyd makes an excuse to leave saying that Erica will be off shift soon and she wouldn’t want to come home to an empty bed.

Derek understands. He wants to get back to his significant other too. So that’s exactly what he does. He’s back at Stiles’ apartment for a few days. It’s getting easier to swap between their places without the addition of Derek being at the station every few nights. He’s allowed on the premises and he’s allowed to check in, but his lawyer told him to refrain from doing so. So he listens.

He doesn’t have a key to Stiles’ place. They’re not there yet. But he does know where Stiles hides his spare. There’s a bushy plant at the end of the hallway next to Stiles’ door. He puts it in the dirt. It’s easy to find if you’re looking. But most people aren’t, so it’s an alright hiding spot. He grabs the key and opens the door, making sure to toss it back in the dirt before entering.

At this point in the day, Stiles is usually up and slaving away in the kitchen. Derek gets his energy out by running; Stiles gets his energy out by cooking. And he’s good at it. This time, however, there’s no noise in the kitchen. He does see this big white sheet covering a majority of the furniture in the living room though. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it was a blanket fort.

He kicks off his shoes and walks over to the only place he deems as an entrance. When he kneels down to peer underneath, he spots Stiles laying on his back. His eyes are closed but his breathing is uneven so Derek can tell he’s not sleeping.

There are many pillows and blankets shoved inside the fort. It’s a decent size fort. Built for two to three people. Stiles even plugged in some Christmas lights to brighten it up a bit. So Derek gets on his hands and knees and crawls inside. He flops on his back next to his boyfriend and they lay in silence. Stiles is definitely aware that he’s there now.

“You okay?” Derek asks, looking at his better half. Stiles finally opens his eyes and returns Derek’s gaze.

He doesn’t speak. He just turns his whole body to face Derek and curls into him. All Derek can do is hold him in return. He’s seen Stiles like this before. They’ve been through a lot in the five weeks that they’ve been together. He’s seen Stiles at his worst. He’s seen panic attacks, shared in them himself. He’s gotten used to Stiles’ ADHD. He’s pretty good at calming him down at this point. It doesn’t take a whole lot. You just need to be there for him and take it in strides.

Stiles also has nightmares. He’s seen a lot, they both have. Sometimes the nightmares are different though. They makes Stiles act different, like he is now. He doesn’t cry. He doesn’t make a peep really. Which is uncharacteristic for him and always puts Derek off balance. Because he’s not the communicator.

“Do you need anything?” He asks. Helping is hard when he doesn’t know what to do. Usually he can make tea for Stiles and it calms and centers him in a way. Something tells him that tea won’t help in this situation.

Stiles still doesn’t speak, if anything his hands curl tighter into Derek’s sweaty clothing. He now wishes he had time to shower so he’d smell more pleasant in the small bubble they’re trapped in. His boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind; his thoughts are most likely elsewhere.

So Derek just lays there. He comforts by staying, which is sometimes all that he can do. Stiles will talk when he’s ready. And in instances where he doesn’t want to talk at all, Derek doesn’t force him to.

They fall asleep after a while. Derek is content to just hear the easy ebb and flow of Stiles’ breathing when he falls asleep. It lulls him into a sense of security that lets him drift off too.

Hours later he’s woken up by Stiles sitting up. He wearily blinks as he adjusts to the evening air. It’s darker, even with the addition of the Christmas lights strung around them. Stiles looks down at him and cracks a smile. It seems that sleep was just what he needed.

“So what’s with the fort?” Derek eventually asks.

“My dad and I used to make them after my mom died when I felt sad,” Stiles explains.

“What are you sad about now?”

“Had a nightmare about my dad. I’m okay. Just thought this would feel comforting.”

“Is it?”

“Better when you’re here.”

Stiles leans down and kisses Derek slowly. He suddenly wishes he could stay in this moment forever. That happens a lot with Stiles. These little moments happen and he just feels completely safe and loved for the first time in his life.

“I’m going back to therapy,” Derek tells him. Stiles slowly runs his fingers through Derek’s hair while looking down at him. It makes Derek feel like his only focus.

“You never told me you’ve gone in the first place,” Stiles comments.

Derek reaches a hand out and wraps it around Stiles’ wrist to center himself. He needs to open up to him. It would make their lives so much easier. Stiles finally focuses his eyes on Derek when he can tell his tone is serious.

“There’s a lot you still don’t know. And I was a different person years ago,” Derek takes the opportunity to sit up so he’s level with Stiles. “I went to therapy to try and fix myself. It helped a lot. And then I stopped going and when we met I was in a dark place. That dark place hasn’t gone away just because I’m happy with you. So I need to go back. For myself and for you.”

“I’m the last person who is going to stop you from getting help,” Stiles says. “I went a lot after my dad died. I couldn’t function properly without him. And gradually it got better. But I’m still broken. I don’t think it’s fair to let the person you’re in a relationship with try to fix you. I think you need to fix yourself. So I understand.”

Derek smiles at him and then sort of chuckles to himself.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because I am so incredibly lucky to have found you and I just can’t believe it sometimes,” Derek says. He leans in a meets Stiles’ lips halfway.

He runs because he feels like he has something to run away from. But right now, in this moment with Stiles, he couldn’t image moving.

***

Stiles is at home one day, alone, when he hears a knock on the door. He turns off the stove because he knows he’d forget and definitely light something on fire if he didn’t. Good thing his boyfriend’s a firefighter.

He wipes his hands on a towel as he jogs to the door. He’s not expecting anyone. Especially not at three o’clock on a Thursday. He opens the door and is greeted with a lovely, red lipped smile and gorgeous strawberry blonde hair.

“Lydia,” He says, sounding surprised. Because he is. They keep in touch but their schedules are both so busy that it’s harder to see each other.

“Hi Stiles,” She says. She scoots on past him before he can even invite her in. Not like she really needs an invitation anyway. He’s the kind of person that would drop everything for her in a heartbeat.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you?” He asks.

“A little birdy told me that they heard through the grape vine that you were seeing someone,” She says. “And you’ve regretted to inform your best friend. I’ve got to say I’m a bit offended.”

“Scott already knows,” Stiles jokes. She eyes him with envy. “I’m joking, Lyds. I love you, and I’m sorry I never said anything. I’ve just had a lot going on.”

“Mhmm,” She rolls her eyes and walks to the couch. “Allison informed me about your suspension too.”

“About that-“

“I’m just glad I didn’t see you at the hospital,” She says in lieu of making him explain.

Stiles snorts. He notices she’s still in her scrubs. Which must mean that she just got off shift and headed right over. Stiles’ apartment is pretty close to the hospital, walking distance really, and he’s sure that’s exactly how Lydia got here.

Lydia has always watched Stiles enter the crossfire of any situation he could possibly be in. That means high school, college, and when they entered the workforce. He could always count on her to patch him up. In all honesty, he would have married her and it would have worked for them. But Stiles suddenly sees Derek in himself and Paige in Lydia. They would have crashed and burned too because Lydia isn’t okay with what he does.

“So spill,” She says. “I’ve only heard so much about the guy.”

“Where do I even start,” Stiles sighs happily, excited to gossip with her. “He’s incredible. Hot, intelligent, strong, even funny sometimes. He’s so willing to work with me on things. We don’t rush into decisions. He’s already so protective. And we just... mesh. I’ve never had something that’s felt so... so....”

“Perfect?” She questions knowingly.

“God, yeah. He is perfect.”

“This could still be the honeymoon phase talking.”

“You’d think,” Stiles shakes his head “But it’s real. We fight but we communicate. We have serious conversations but also light ones. We’re perfect because of the imperfections.”

“I’ve never heard you talk about someone like this,” Lydia realizes. “Not even me.”

“I never understood what this felt like before,” Stiles shakes his head. Sure he loved Lydia. But what even was love back then?

“Wow,” She widens her eyes. “You love him.”

Stiles chokes on nothing and then looks at her with big worried eyes.

No. Not yet.

“I feel a lot right now,” Stiles says. “And it feels like that, maybe, but I don’t think we’re there yet. I think I could be falling in love with him.”

“Well, you’ll really know when you are,” Lydia tells him.

“I’m sure,” Stiles agrees.

“So do I get to meet the mystery hunk?”

“He’s in therapy right now, but he should be home sooner or later.”

“So has he officially moved in?”

“Unofficially,” Stiles says and ushers her to the kitchen. He might as well continue making food while they talk. Derek will be hungry when he gets back and it’s rude of him not to offer something to Lydia.

Cooking gives him time to catch up with Lydia. They talk about everything they’ve missed over the past month. Lydia got a promotion at the hospital. She’s now a head nurse. Stiles knew she would be eventually. Surprised it took so long. Stiles tells her about meeting Derek. All the details, and she loves every second.

Eventually they move on to the lawsuit. They’re both sure that Murphy won’t win. No judge is going to look at the case and see it as anything other than a hate crime. He has some pull with the judges too. Not that he cheats his way out of the law but they know the kind of person he is. How he only fights for what’s fair. And he has a kickass lawyer.

The food is ready and they’re setting the table when he hears the front door open. He hears Derek shuffle into the apartment and the clang of his keys as they rest on the table next to the door. Derek’s entering the kitchen moments later. Surprised to see someone in the kitchen with Stiles.

“How was the session?” Stiles asks rather than greeting him. He can tell Derek’s exhausted. Going back to therapy can do that to a person. Plus Derek might have even more baggage than the last time.

“Fine,” He says softly. Not willing to talk about it with a stranger in the room.

“Hi, I’m Lydia,” She finally says, getting up to shake Derek’s hand.

“The love of your life, Lydia?” Derek questions, looking at Stiles for confirmation.

“That’s the one,” Stiles laughs nervously. He hadn’t realized that the introduction would be so awkward.

“Great to meet you,” Derek says despite that detail.

“You too,” She smiles. “And you have nothing to worry about with Stiles and I. Our relationship has become sibling-esque.”

“As long as you don’t want to makeout with my boyfriend, I think we’ll get along just fine.”

And Lydia and Derek do get along great. Derek puts in an effort to be nice to her, even though Stiles can tell he’d prefer to just disappear and take a nap. But the food’s good and it keeps Derek talking.

Lydia talks about her love life because she needs help from people who are in a stable relationship. Stiles knows ever since her ex, Jackson, left for Europe, she’s been kind of single. But he also knows that she’s had an eye on his partner, Jordan Parrish. He is dying to set them up, though Lydia is still trying to play it cool. Derek encourages her. He’s only met Jordan once but he has nothing but nice things to say.

And that’s how the evening goes. They talk and get to know each other better. Derek understands she’s a permanent fixture in Stiles’ life, so he bonds with her. She tells stories about Stiles as a kid and Derek eats it up. And the worry lines disappear by the end of their time together.

Lydia leaves after a while with promises to keep in touch. They definitely will be seeing each other sooner than this time. They hold each other to that promise.

After escorting her out the door, Stiles finds Derek in the kitchen, cleaning up. He’s hand washing the dishes because, though the apartment is wonderful, it doesn’t come with a dishwasher. Stiles feels like he should take over and let Derek rest. But telling Derek to do something, especially when he’s tense, is never a good idea.

“You look tired,” Stiles comments. He’s only stating facts at this point.

“I’m fine,” Derek says. Not looking his way.

“I can help,” He then says. Either offering with the dishes or with anything else Derek might need.

“It’s fine, just-“ Derek sounds anxious and like he’s about to snap, but stops himself. “Stiles, I really need to be alone right now.”

“Whatever you need,” Stiles nods.

He’s not going to push. Because he knows if he does then it will just end in a meaningless fight. Derek’s not upset with him. He’s upset by memories brought up in therapy. Stiles repeats that in his head like a mantra.

He exits the kitchen, not wanting to touch anything. He knows that Derek will take care of it all. He’s nothing if not efficient.

There’s nothing in the living room to pick up. Lydia and he only sat on the couch for a brief while before moving into the kitchen. He figures he should get ready for bed. Without work there’s not much to do these days, but catching up on sleep has been nice.

He walks into the bedroom and wanders around to the dresser where he can pull out fresh pajama pants and a worn t-shirt. Rather than heading to the bathroom to undress, he strips in the middle of the room, not worried about Derek walking in. He throws the clothes from the day into his laundry basket and then heads for the bathroom.

His nightly routine is quick. He washes his face and brushes his teeth easily. He’s not tired, usually isn’t most nights, not when he’s able to get nine hours of sleep or more now.

He climbs into bed and reaches for his reading glasses on the nightstand on his side of the bed. He never thought he’d be claiming a certain half of the bed while someone claimed the other side. It settles something within him.

He reaches for his bottle of Adderall and takes his dose for the night with the glass of water he keeps at his bedside. After that’s taken care of, he grabs a book he’s been slowly getting through since the suspension. It’s one of those Stephen King thrillers that’s become popular. He’s not invested, but not because it’s not interesting, reading is only a way to keep him busy.

He thinks Derek will come in eventually. Barely hears movement in the kitchen anymore. Derek’s been done with the dishes for a while. But he never comes. So Stiles takes off his glasses, sets his book on the table, and turns off the lamp. He tries to sleep but he’s restless worrying about Derek.

It’s around two in the morning when Stiles feels the press of a body behind him. He’s not startled but it does wake him. He’s a little disoriented, not sure how long he’s actually been asleep. Derek nuzzles his face into his neck and breathes softly.

“I’m sorry,” He whispers. And it’s okay.

“Do you want to talk now?”

“It’s not that important. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Derek, it’s two in the morning and you’re just now coming to bed. I think we should talk about it,” Stiles scoots up and clicks the lamp on next to his bed. He blinks rapidly to adjust to the light and sits up further so he can look at Derek.

“It’s just… a lot come out in the session. It felt like I was able to get stuff off my chest but it also made me feel heavy,” Derek explains, not able to meet Stiles’ gaze. He still looks as tired as he did when he came home, if not, more. “My uncle, the one who made it out of the fire, is recovering.”

“That’s good news,” Stiles says, reaching out to touch Derek’s arm. He places it on his skin gently and rubs back and forth in a soothing manner. He wants Derek to feel comfortable but he doesn’t want to push him.

“It is, but I’ve spent so much of my life blaming myself for the condition he’s in. Hearing that he was recovering should be good news. Especially since the doctors said that was never going to happen. Yet, when I heard, I just blamed myself more because it was my fault that he’s had to live like that for the past 15 years.”

“You didn’t light the match,” Stiles says. “It was your ex. You had no idea what she was capable of-“

“Didn’t I?” Derek asks, eyes vulnerable as he finally looks at Stiles. “I knew she was manipulative. I knew she had the capability of getting her way. But I did nothing to stop it.”

“Do you think a 16 year old has even the slightest chance of standing up to a 25 year old woman? I see this kind of stuff on the job all the time. Rapists and pedophiles manipulate because it’s easy to do so to kids. _Kids_ , Derek. You were a kid.”

“But I-“

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You are not at fault. They are not dead because of you,” Stiles repeats, pulling Derek’s face into his hands. “Your family loved you. I know they loved you because you wouldn’t be the kind of man you are today if they didn’t. You didn’t let this tragedy make you evil. You are strong. You are brave. You are still loved.”

Derek suddenly starts crying. It’s slow at first. Stiles sees the tears collect around his eyelids. As the words make their way into Derek’s brain and they settle there, a sob wracks through his body. And he just breaks.

Stiles pulls him close and just lets him let it all out. He’s never seen Derek like this before. He’s never seen him cry. There aren’t many occasions where he’s willing to be so vulnerable. Even during previous panic attacks, he’s held himself together. He gets really distant in those moments. Now, Stiles can see him clearly. He sees a broken boy inside of a 32-year-old man. And he craves to be able to fix him.

This is what he’s best at. Taking care of people. He took care of his dad for all of his life and having Derek around gives him a purpose again. So he rocks them, almost like a mother would rock her child, to try and get his boyfriend to calm down. He whispers sweet nothings into his ear and the sobs let up after a while. But he still cries, like a dam has been opened and there’s no chance of closing it up anytime soon. Stiles is okay with that; it seems as if it’s exactly what Derek needs.

Derek falls asleep wrapped in his arms. Stiles watches him for a while, careful not to wake him as he strokes his fingers through the sleeping man’s hair. Somehow, Derek looks younger. Maybe it’s the weight he just lifted from his shoulders. Stiles thinks he’s beautiful all the time, but he might be even more beautiful like this.

•••

Stiles has a meeting with the judge to see if the lawsuit will really be taken to court, with a jury and all. It’s unlikely, but he’s anxious about it anyway. He has a great lawyer, Allison Argent. She’ll get him out of anything. She always has.

Derek comes with him. Boyd is supposed to meet them there. Because of their involvement, they all have to be there for the verdict. If it doesn’t go through, their suspensions should be lifted by the end of the week. Stiles is hopeful. He could tell how much not working was stressing Derek out. Therapy had still not been easy on him.

Derek and him are suited up as they slip into the small court room. It’s fit for a small group of people. He knows this isn’t the kind of room they’d be in if they went in front of a jury. He’d been in a few court rooms in his lifetime. As a forensics specialist, he’d presented evidence in several cases. He wasn’t new to this situation. He just wasn’t too happy to be in the center of it.

Allison is waiting for him when they enter. Derek doesn’t need a lawyer. He’s not being sued. Neither is Boyd. Murphy’s goons are there too, but mostly the lawsuit is between the two of them.

“Hello Stiles,” Allison greets him.

She looks powerful in a pantsuit. She’s always been one of the sweetest people he’s ever known, but watching her in court has shown him to never get on her bad side. She can be ruthless, especially fighting for those she cares about. It was like that when she dated Scott in high school. She definitely had to fight for that relationship with her dad.

“Allison,” He smiles. Though it’s not really professional for him to hug his lawyer, he does it anyway.

“Are you ready to win this?” She asks.

“Hell yes,” He grins.

He realizes that Derek is standing a bit awkwardly behind him. He’s never met Allison. Stiles is not always great when it comes to introductions, he’s such a people person that he thinks people just know each other. Derek is the opposite, and he forgets that sometimes.

“Der, this is my good friend and lawyer, Allison Argent,” He says, moving aside to address his boyfriend, and wave a hand toward Allison at the same time.

Allison sticks her hand out for Derek to shake, but Derek freezes. Stiles has seen him greet new people before, and this hesitation is not like him.

“Argent,” He says slowly. “As in Kate Argent?”

“Uh...” Allison’s confusion is written across her face but she nods shortly after. “Yes. She’s my father’s sister.”

Derek swallows thickly and still doesn’t take Allison’s hand, hovering between them. “Please, excuse me.”

Derek heads straight out of the courtroom without another word. His face looked rather neutral through the introduction but Stiles can tell that something is really off.

“I’m sorry, Allison. I’m not sure what’s going on with him. If you’ll excuse me, I should go check on him to make sure he’s okay,” Stiles apologizes. He knows the meeting is bound to start soon but he can’t start without making sure Derek’s fine.

Allison just nods at him, still confused, as he walks out of the room too.

He doesn’t see Derek anywhere in the halls. He walks around aimlessly for a bit. Stops and asks some workers if they’ve seen a man who looks like his boyfriend anywhere. No one’s seen him. Stiles knows he can’t have gotten too far.

He finally checks the men’s room and finds him. Derek is standing at the sinks. He hands are squeezing the edges of the counter top so hard that they’re turning red. His head is bent down, which usually means that he’s trying to calm himself. Stiles can’t hear frantic breathes in the small room, which should be a good sign.

“Hey,” he says softly so he doesn’t spook Derek.

“Stiles,” Is all that passes his lips. Derek doesn’t even look up to see him standing several feet away.

“What’s going on?” Stiles asks. “Who’s Kate Argent?”

Derek winces at her name, telling Stiles that whoever she is, she can’t be good.

“Fuck,” Derek says, slamming his hands down on the counter. “Fuck!”

This action startles Stiles. Derek doesn’t usually get aggressive, but he can tell that this is a situation that he’s never had to see Derek deal with.

“She’s my ex,” Derek says, suddenly turning to him. There’s sorrow in his eyes. “Your friend’s aunt, killed my family.”

“Oh my god, Derek, I had no idea,” Stiles says quickly. “I would have never-“

“It’s fine!” Derek says. “I just- I should have told you. It’s my fault. I should have-“

“Stop,” Stiles interrupts.

There Derek goes, blaming himself again. And Stiles thought therapy was helping him get over this guilt. That guilt might honestly never go away though. Derek hasn’t had closure. He hasn’t gotten justice for what happened to him all those years ago. How was he supposed to properly heal?

“Neither of us knew. Allison has never even mentioned her before. They must not be close. The only other relative that I know of Allison’s is her dad. Those two, are not going to hurt you. I promise.”

Derek is shaking. He’s trying not to be obvious about how this information is affecting him, but Stiles knows him. There’s a tremble in his hand as he grips the sink counter again. He wants to reach out to Derek but can’t tell if it’s the wisest decision.

He moves closer and finally touches Derek slowly. He cups his cheeks in his hands so his boyfriend will focus solely on him.

“You should get back to the courtroom, Murphy’s going to try anything to get this taken to court. You don’t want to give the judge any reason to agree with him,” Derek says. “I’ll be fine.”

“Derek,” He says softly. “You are and will always be my number one priority.”

“Stiles-“

“Hush,” Stiles shakes his head and leans into to kiss the man slowly.

Derek breathes him in like he’s his one source of air. This, the intimacy, is what calms him. It brings him back to reality and out of his own head.

“I won’t go back into that room until you’re ready.”

“I’m okay,” Derek promises. “You’re here. I’m okay.”

“Yeah, and I’m not going anywhere,” Stiles takes his hand and squeezes it tightly.

This moment gives Derek the strength to return to the courtroom with Stiles by his side. Allison didn’t do anything wrong. She won’t hurt him and by the looks of it, she’s not going to report her findings about him back to her evil aunt either.

The judge is luckily not in the room yet when they return. Boyd is there though. Derek feels comfortable sitting in the row behind Stiles, next to Boyd. His best friend can tell that he’s been through something. Boyd claps a hand on his shoulder and gives it a comforting squeeze. Derek never really realized he craved touch, not till after the fire, and the people closest to him seemed to realize that too.

When the judge does enter, it’s very casual. This isn’t an actual court meeting. It’s just a meeting to get the charges dropped or the lawsuit taken to court. Murphy’s lawyer speaks first and then Allison speaks shortly after. They both state facts about the altercation between their clients.

“Officer Murphy, can you please explain to me why we are hear today?” The judge asks.

“Your honor, that man over there,” He gestures to Stiles, “and his cohorts behind him, attacked me and some other officers the night of the PDFD gala. In the parking lot, no less.”

“Officer Stilinski, you started the altercation. Why?” The judge then asks.

“Sir, I’m an openly bisexual man. Some of my coworkers, including Murphy, do not like this detail of my personal life. So, while I was attempting to leave the gala with my boyfriend, Murphy provoked me. He called me derogatory names and brought up my recently deceased father. I know it was wrong to punch him, but he started the altercation.” Stiles explains.

“But Stilinski attacked me first!” Murphy argues.

“Officer Murphy, I’m going to ask you to refrain from interrupting while I am talking to the defendant.” The judge claims, sternly. Everyone in the room can tell that he’s not up to deal with a bigot. “Officer Stilinski, please proceed with your statement.”

“Mr. Hale and Mr. Boyd were with me during the altercation, trying to defuse future events,” Stiles gestures to them from behind. “The situation took a turn when Murphy asked me if my father thought I was a lowlife when he found out I was a, and I quote, ‘fag’. I would have walked away, but my father is a sensitive subject, and I admit that I lost it then. I took one swing. Murphy came back at me. Mr. Hale and Mr. Boyd tried to help but they were attacked by Officers Romero and Klein. Firefighter Reyes stepped in as well as a few others and defused the situation completely. I was asked if I wanted to file a report. I declined. Mr. Hale and I went home shortly after, and that was it.” 

“Thank you, Officer Stilinski,” The judge nods his way and then turns to Murphy. “Officer Murphy, you have come into my courtroom to press charges against Officer Stilinski for assault, yes?”

“Yes, your honor. I-“

“You do realize what you did was hate speech?” The judge interrupts.

“You can’t prove that I-“

“We have several eyewitnesses who knew exactly what you said to provoke Officer Stilinski. You should be grateful that he has not decided to press charges for a hate crime.”

“But-“

“With all the evidence, I think it’s safe to end this while we get ahead of ourselves. I’m sorry for wasting your time, Officer Stilinski. I’m dismissing this case and you may go back to work effective immediately. Mr. Hale and Mr. Boyd, I understand that you have also been suspended since this claim was filed. You are both able to report back for duty and this will not go on your record. Since Officer Stilinski is not reporting this as a hate crime, none of you officers will have this on your record. However, I am adding a week of suspension for Officers Romero and Klein due to their unsolicited involvement with Mr. Hale and Mr. Boyd.”

“So I can go back to work too?” Murphy asks, clearly disappointed by the rest of the outcome.

“Yes. However, I suggest you clean up your attitude in the future. If you do not, I will recommend your commanding officer transfer you to a different police department.” The judge says. He then bangs his gavel once. “Case dismissed.”

“Told you we’d get out of this.” Boyd grins at Derek.

Derek nods but stands up quickly to meet Stiles at the defendant desk.

“Are you sure you don’t want to file a report? You’re going to have to continue working with them. They barely even got a slap on the wrist for this,” Derek tells him.

“Thank you for being concerned. I can deal with them though. Jordan and I do enough stuff alone that I barely have to be in the same vicinity as them. It will be fine.”

“God, you’re a remarkable person.”

Stiles grins at him and steps forward to kiss his cheek. Allison is gathering some papers next to him and Derek looks her way.

“Allison, I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier,” Derek says to her. Stiles takes his hand as he speaks to her. “I’m Derek, Stiles’ boyfriend.”

“It’s okay. I don’t know what happened between you and my aunt. I’ve never met her myself, but whatever it was, I’m sorry.”

“I think you’re better off never having met her,” Derek sighs. “But I’m sure you’re a lovely person if you’re friends with Stiles.”

“Well Stiles has told me nothing but great things about you too. Thank you for making him happy,” She says. Gently, she reaches out to place a small comforting hand on his shoulder. Derek can see the kindness in her eyes.

“He’s pretty amazing,” Derek smiles as he looks over to Stiles.

“You both are much too kind to me,” Stiles blushes. “Ally, keep in touch? We’ll have to get drinks with Lydia soon.”

“Sounds great.”

Stiles and Derek take that as the opportunity to exit as they say their goodbyes. Boyd stuck around and follows them out too. He’s thrilled he gets to go back to work. He really missed it. And it was all solved rather quickly.

Boyd promises to call him later when he calls their captain to let him know the news. For the time being, he goes home with Stiles to have one more night of good sleep before they go into chaos mode again with their work schedules.

The day was off-putting but Stiles and therapy were definitely helping him in the long run. And he falls asleep without a worry on his mind for once.

***

Stiles doesn’t immediately get thrown back into the field when he gets back to work. The interim sheriff wants to teach him a lesson about not getting into trouble, though he’d already learned that lesson during the suspension. But he doesn’t argue and he gladly takes desk duty for the time being.

Murphy and him are both in the station at the same time now. They’re kept separated by their coworkers which works well mostly. Stiles does all he can to avoid him. He’s had enough run ins with that asshat to last his lifetime. So mostly he just sticks to his desk which is on the opposite end of the station from where Murphy is. He’s grateful for the quiet time that he has to look at evidence on open cases.

But crime is slow in Beacon Hills and he gets bored easily. That is until he heads into the file room to look at past cases. He doesn’t do this often. Mostly because the files in the room are from solved cases and he has no reason to look back on them. Except maybe he does have a reason to look at one.

He opens the cabinet that holds the ‘H’ files and picks through them until he finds the one he’s looking for. It’s a thinner file than he remembers. And boy does he remember seeing that file on the kitchen counter back in the day.

He takes it back to his desk and holds his breath when he opens it, unprepared to see what’s inside. The pictures, he realizes, are not all that graphic. Mostly because the bodies of the deceased are unrecognizable. The fire got them, and it got them good.

He pulls out the report from that night to look for more clues that his dad may have missed, because he didn’t have all the information.

The report reads that the fire happened at 7:15 pm on September 22nd of 2004. Eleven people were trapped in that fire. Nine people were identified. Peter was the sole survivor. That leaves two that we’re unaccounted for. Could one of them be Derek? Did they write the report before they found that Derek was okay? Stiles understands how it would be impossible to find the DNA to confirm who was all there. There was barely anything left of who these people were. They were stuck in the basement and couldn’t get out.

And it was too late before anyone got to them. Because the house was in the middle of nowhere. Even if the fire station was called, they had no chance of making it out of there alive. The report says that faulty wiring was the cause. Faulty wires killed eleven people and no one so much as thought to question that? He can see why his dad was obsessed with the case. Obsessed with finding justice for Derek, a sixteen year old kid at the time.

Stiles flips through the images taken that night and early the next day. He stares at the pictures of a burned shell that used to house a big family. He feels more alone than he has in a long time. He can suddenly feel the pain Derek has probably carried for 15 years.

While he continues to flip through the images he sees one that outshines the rest. It’s the Hale house, years before the fire. It’s a magnificent house. Perfectly capable of housing more than 10 people. It’s practically a mansion. And Stiles knew Derek had money, but the realization hits him that the money was inherited. His parents were wealthy. And that was handed down to him when they passed away.

He wants that life for Derek again. He wants him to have a big old house and big old family to share it with. But the thing is, he can’t bring back the dead. And he’s only one man. A house like that, just the two of them, could get pretty lonely. Which just makes him... want. He wants a big family. He wants to give Derek a big family. They’re only a little over a month into this relationship but he realizes he wants a lot, everything, with Derek. So soon.

He sets the pictures aside and picks up some statements from any witnesses that arrived on the scene. Most of them are completely clueless. But he looks at the report for the insurance company that declared the cause of the fire. The people that declared it as an electrical malfunction. A man named Garrison Meyers investigated the Hale House fire and reported his findings to the insurance company.

Something was fishy about that. If Derek knew it was arson, knew who committed the arson, then this guy’s statement didn’t add up... unless he was part of it.

Of course, Kate couldn’t have done it alone. There had to be more to the story. He used the database to look into Garrison Meyers a bit more. Any detail helps. Stiles finds that Garrison is now a bus driver at Beacon Hills High School. He could totally investigate that guy. Maybe he’s willing to come clean about what really happened.

He spends the rest of his shift looking into anything else he can find about the fire. He tried to look up Kate Argent but finds next to nothing. She’s the daughter of a millionaire, Gerard Argent, who is the owner of a large gun company, Argent Arms. Seems like she stayed out of trouble for most of her life. He can’t even find a single thing on her record.

How he never knew any of this, even in all the time he’s known Allison, he’s not sure. Chris, her father, really has nothing to do with these people. Must have been due to a falling out. Maybe Chris knew how crazy his sister was. He could be helpful in the investigation.

While he’s on desk duty, Jordan is still out in the field. So when his shift is almost over and Jordan returns, he asks for his help.

“Hey Jordan, can you do me a favor?” Stiles asks.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I need you to look into this man,” Stiles hands over Garrison’s information on a small notecard. “It’s in relation to the Hale house fire.”

“I thought that case was closed,” Parrish murmurs as he takes a look at the card.

“It is. Derek has lead me to believe otherwise. It’s his family, Jordan,” Stiles sighs and scrubs a hand down his face in frustration. “My dad knew an electrical malfunction couldn’t have killed 11 people. He was right. And it has to start here. This guy must have fudged his report. Maybe he was paid. All I know is, this must have been a team effort.”

“Well, I’ll look into it. You have the day off tomorrow, right? I’ll do it then if I have time during my shift. Relax and don’t get in over your head with this.”

Stiles nods at him. He grabs his stuff to get ready to go home. He secretly stuffs the Hale file into his satchel and zips it up before anyone can see. He swings his bag over his shoulder and waves at some of his coworkers/friends before he heads out the door.

Derek’s not home when he gets to the loft. He knows his shift is supposed be long but it seems like Derek might be putting in some overtime. So then is a prime time to get some more work down. He lounges on the couch for a while and pulls out the Hale file again. He does background checks on all the people who made statements in the file. Everything comes back clean, like someone really plotted it all to make sure it never came back to bite them. Too bad Stiles was too curious for his own good and thrived off of unsolvable cases like this. No matter what, there was always some kind of error. He was hoping that Garrison Meyers would be that error.

Stiles does take the opportunity to do a background check on Derek, too. Though he wouldn’t care about whatever comes up, there could be something there to pinpoint him in a certain direction. But Derek’s record comes back mostly clean too. It looks like he was a great student until the fire... or well, even a bit before that. His grades took a turn in 2004. Which could be Kate’s doing. His focus could have been on her, not his school work.

Derek was arrested once, news to Stiles, for a bar fight several years ago. It says the charges were dropped but it still remains on Derek’s record. He wonders if he should bring that up, if Derek will, or if it’s to invasive that he found it out for himself.

He decides to stop looking into his boyfriend’s past, the point of Derek going to therapy is that he’ll come clean eventually. And it’s less effective if Stiles’ knows everything already. Or at least everything you can store online about a person.

Eventually he drops his bag by the couch, leaves his things sprawled out on the coffee table, and heads upstairs for a shower. It’s soothing and warm as he lets the water beat down his back. Being in the field is hard, but sitting at a desk all day definitely puts a kink in his neck. The pressure of the water definitely helps. Though Derek’s apartment is a bit dilapidated, nothing like the image of the original Hale house he saw, the water pressure was always good. Even better than his own apartment sometimes.

He falls into a trance for a while as he lets himself calm under the water. He’s startled when the shower curtain opens up to reveal Derek on the other side. Derek looks exhausted. His face is a little sooty and he’s wearing his light brown fire pants, red suspenders, and a blue BHFD t-shirt underneath. Stiles smiles a little because his boyfriend is just so unbelievably hot.

“Hey,” He greets, totally aware of how naked he his. “Care to join me?”

“Stiles-“

Stiles wastes no time dragging Derek inside the tub, clothes and all. The water quickly soaks through Derek’s clothes, but he pays them no mind. Instead, he brings their lips together for a messy kiss. For some reason, Derek is hesitant as Stiles mauls his mouth. He gives in shortly after.

Stiles pulls Derek’s suspenders down and yanks up the t-shirt that is in the way of skin on skin contact. Derek helps him get it off and there’s a wet slap after it’s tossed on he floor.

Stiles presses him into the wall where they can both still feel the pressure of the shower head raining down on them. As Stiles mouths at Derek’s neck, the firefighter lets out strangled moans. Stiles is seconds away from getting Derek’s pants off when he moves away.

“Hey, hey, hey, we were just about to get to the good part,” Stiles complains, reaching out for Derek.

“You’re looking into the fire,” Derek says instead.

Stiles feels like an idiot. Of course leaving the files out on Derek’s coffee table was a huge mistake. Of course Derek was going to see it as soon as he came home. And seeing that maybe made him relive all that shit and Stiles was definitely a terrible person.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but-“

“I want you to stop.”

“What?”

“Kate is dangerous. We don’t know what she’s capable of. I don’t want you to get hurt,” Derek says. He’s stepping out of the shower. He looks sad and soaked to the bone.

“We know she’s capable of murder, Derek. And I won’t let her do it again,” Stiles argues. He turns off the faucet and steps out of the shower too. He grabs a towel quickly and ties it around his waist. “I know you’re scared but I’m not doing this alone. We’re going to get justice for you and your family. Jordan is looking into a lead tomorrow.”

“Stiles-“

“Please don’t argue with me. I’m trying to help. She obviously still controls your life and if I can put that bitch behind bars, then I will do everything in my power to do so.”

“Okay. You’re right. I can’t stop you,” Derek sighs. “I don’t know if I can help you either.”

“I’m not asking you to. You’ve been through enough. Let me take care of it,” Stiles says.

Derek nods and slowly wraps his arms around Stiles waste to pull him closer. They’re both still dripping from the shower but in this moment, they don’t seem to care. Derek leans down and kisses Stiles’ forehead before bringing him into a hug.

Sometimes all Stiles wants is to be held. And luckily, Derek gets that. They’ll figure the rest out another day.


	6. Chapter 6

Stiles is on a break when he goes to the station one afternoon. When he enters, he spots Danny manning the phones. It seems like he’s normally the one to be left behind. Maybe he’s not thrilled by all the fire action the others are getting.

“Hey Danny,” He greets, strutting up to his desk.

“Derek’s on a call,” Danny monotones without looking up at him.

“I know,” Stiles says. “I’m here for you.”

Danny looks up then, there’s a squint in his eyes like he realizes Stiles is up to something. “What do you want?”

“Word on the street is that you’re an extremely good hacker,” Stiles shrugs. He pulls out a card with some information jotted down on it. “Which makes you the perfect candidate to help me with this issue I’m having.”

“I’m not deleting any records for you. I don’t care what kind of shit you’ve gotten into.”

“Danny, my man, why would you think I’d ask you such a thing? No, on the contrary, what I need you to do is gather some dirt on an individual for me,” Stiles hands over the card and Danny scans it, actually considering the task.

“What’s in it for me?” He asks.

“You’ll be helping a friend put a very bad woman in prison,” Stiles says. “And your talents are honestly wasted here. We could seriously use you on the force.”

“Do you think I’m thrilled answering phones all day?”

“Exactly, so maybe I can pull some strings and-“

“Fine. I’ll do it.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Stiles grins. “And I promise not to tell anyone about any other illegal activities you’ve gotten up to in the past.”

“Hacking’s fun. It’s not always legal,” Danny argues. “So who is this chick?”

“She’s the daughter of a millionaire. And there’s nothing that comes up on her record at surface level. I don’t have the capabilities to find anything more so that’s where you’ll come in. Anything you can find will be of use.”

Stiles has a file about Kate in his hand that’s mostly empty. Only because she’s the picture perfect daughter in the media. No one has any idea what she’s truly capable of. He hands the file over to Danny who glances at a few things he’s written in it.

Danny is already typing away at his computer a few seconds later. Stiles didn’t mean he had to get started immediately but he also wasn’t complaining.

“How about a location?” Danny asks, scribbling some words down on a sheet of paper and handing it over.

“Wow, you’re good.”

“Listen Stiles, I like Derek. And Derek likes you. So I’m saying this because I care about him. Watch yourself. People who are able to bury things from their past usually aren’t the kind of people you want to get messed up with. I know a guy you should talk to if you’re planning on tracking this ‘Kate Argent’ down,” Danny scribbles down some more information and hands it to Stiles.

“Oh fucking hell, you want me to talk to Jackson Whittemore?” Stiles exclaims. Not willing to deal with the asshole that broke Lydia’s heart more times than one.

“He’s a private investigator, and a good one at that. Whatever unresolved issues you have with him, get over it. He’ll help.”

Stiles sighs but nods. He thanks Danny for his time. Danny promises to update him with whatever else he might find. And he struggles with everything in him not to call Jackson.

He’s about to leave when the crew gets back from their latest call. He waves at Erica and Boyd as they head upstairs, most likely to shower off. Derek strolls in and almost misses him; he’s obviously focused on something else.

“What are you doing here?” He suddenly says, surprised but not disappointed to see him.

“Police stuff,” Stiles shrugs. “But seeing you is an added bonus.”

Derek smiles and kisses Stiles softly, right in front of Danny who is watching with mild curiosity.

“How Stilinski got himself a boyfriend before me will always be a mystery,” Danny sighs and goes back to his own devices at his computer.

“Hey pale and scrawny can be some people’s type,” Stiles argues, shaking his head because that’s not the point. He wants to talk to Derek. “You’re getting out of here somewhat early, right? I wanna make dinner reservations at a fancy restaurant.”

“Special occasion?” Derek asks.

“No, just... wanna treat my boyfriend to a good meal,” Stiles shrugs. He may have one ulterior motive, but Derek doesn’t need to know that at the moment.

“All the meals you cook are good,” Derek protests a bit.

“Okay fine, yes. But this gives me the opportunity to not have to slave away in the kitchen.”

“Okay. Yeah, sure. I get out around 5:00,” Derek gives in.

“Yay!” Stiles grins and kisses him quickly. “I’ll text you the details and meet you there?”

Derek nods and Stiles kisses him again. He wishes he could stay but he also has to get back to work. His lunch break might be going a bit too long. It’s worth it to see Derek though. And there’s not much immediate crime to be stopped at a desk.

He ends up calling Jackson on his way back to work. Sometimes you have to do things for the greater good. Even if it means sacrificing his dignity to ask someone he hates for help.

* * *

Derek is late. His shifts are unpredictable at the station and sometimes fires take longer to clean up than usual. So he showers off as quick as he can. He’s still a little damp as he throws on some clothes stowed away in his locker. He hopes whatever restaurant Stiles chose will be casual enough for a Henley and black slacks because that’s all he has. He doesn’t have time to go home and grab something else.

He rushes out the door to where he’d parked the Camaro in the morning and hops in. He fumbles with his keys as he tries to shove one into the ignition but freezes. He brings his ring of keys closer to his face and stares at the collection.

There’s not much on the silver chain. He’s got the key to the loft, key to the Camaro, key to his office at the station, and a little wolf keychain that someone got him years ago as a gag. But there’s something new and unfamiliar as he looks more closely. A new key is dawned on the chain. One he can’t remember putting there.

It’s strange but as he sits there longer, he realizes how late he really is to the restaurant. He shoots Stiles a quick text to let him know he’s on his way. He feels a bit terrible that it’s taken him so long to get there. Stiles seemed really excited or maybe even nervous about the date. But that could just be a normal Stiles reaction to just about anything.

It luckily only takes him ten minutes to get to the restaurant, he speeds a little. His boyfriend’s a cop. Getting in trouble with him seems worse than getting a ticket.

The restaurant is one he can’t recall ever eating at. Even when he and Paige were all about trying new places early on in their marriage. It looks like a fancier version of an Olive Garden. He definitely feels a bit underdressed.

When he heads inside, he’s greeted by the host who asks for his name. He quickly explains he’s looking for someone under the reservation of Stilinski. The host nods quickly and directs him to his table.

Stiles is sitting there. He’s got a glass of wine, half empty. He’s also jabbing away at his phone with his fingers, not even noticing Derek’s arrival. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think the angry finger jabbing was directed at him for being late and he was probably sending a text to show his disappointment.

“Hey,” Derek greets, catching Stiles attention. His boyfriend smiles, definitely not upset. “Sorry I’m late.”

“No problem. I know how hectic things get on certain calls,” Stiles shrugs. “I’ve refrained from ordering for you because that seemed a bit controlling. I did order an appetizer for us though.”

Derek nods and smiles a bit as he looks Stiles over. Stiles looks even more incredible than he did earlier. He looks freshly showered and put together. His hair is not it’s usual style of strewn around sex hair. It looks actually combed. Derek doesn’t mind either way. He happens to be turned on by the sex hair most times.

Stiles isn’t actually dressed much nicer than Derek, which is a relief. He has on a dark blue button down, and while he’s sitting down, Derek can only assume that he’s wearing black slacks too.

Derek suddenly thinks back to the key he found in the car.

“Hey I wanted to ask you-“ He cuts off and pulls the ring of keys out of his pocket. “I found an extra key on my ring and I was wondering if you put it there on accident or-“

“Well I thought this would come up later into the meal, but now’s a good time as any,” Stiles interrupts. He rubs the back of his neck and plucks the keys from Derek’s hand. He picks up the specific one Derek has questions about.

“What?” Derek asks, not understanding where Stiles is going with this.

“It’s my spare key. You know, the one that you keep using from the potted plant to get into the apartment? I figured, you’re the only one who uses it so you might as well just keep it,” Stiles explains. “And I guess this is also me formally asking you to move in with me.”

“You want me to move in?”

“Well, yeah. I... I like having you around. And I know we’ve only been together for like two months but it feels right. At least to me. But I don’t know. Maybe it’s too soon. I’m not exactly educated on how relationships work. Or relationship milestones.”

Stiles hands the keys back over to Derek and he takes them slowly. He’s suddenly not really sure what to say. Saying yes would be so easy. But he doesn’t. And he can’t understand why.

“Can... can I think about it?” Derek asks.

“Oh,” Stiles is surprised by the response. Also obviously slightly hurt. They’re not on the same page. “Of course you can.”

Derek feels awful. Stiles’ mood had gone from delighted to nervous to somber all within a few minutes. And he was the cause. He tries to hand Stiles back the key to his apartment but Stiles shakes his head.

“Keep it while you think about it. You still need to get in somehow,” Stiles jokes softly.

The dinner is awkward. Conversation is stilted. Derek wishes he hadn’t brought it up at all. They could have gotten through most of their meal before making things uncomfortable. They eat in relative silence. It’s uncommon for Stiles, who could talk for days.

After dinner’s done, Derek pays. Even when Stiles insists otherwise. Derek feels like a dick so he’s going to do whatever he can to lighten the blow he’d just given his boyfriend. Not that it really was a blow. He just needed time to think.

Which is why they don’t head home together. Well, they were in separate cars anyway, but they don’t go to the same place for the rest of the night. Which hasn’t happened in weeks unless Derek’s sleeping at the station.

He figured it was better this way. He would have time to think in the privacy of his own loft while Stiles got to spend some time by himself too.

And thinking costed him a night of sleep. Also being away from Stiles costed him that sleep too. He was so used to having another person next to him that it felt jarring to be in his bed alone. So he tossed and turned for most of the night. He might have gotten a solid three hours before it was time to head into work.

He had to drag himself out of bed and into the shower. He just threw on whatever clothes he could find in the dark and rushed to work with his keys, phone, and wallet in hand. His uniform was in his locker so the plan was to just change there.

Being a Sargent meant earlier arrival times at the station. It also meant a little more peace and quiet before everyone else arrived. He headed into his office to check for any missed messages or notes at his desk but found nothing. He was too tired to deal with that anyway.

He headed to his locker to change before his team showed up. He hesitantly checked his phone and discovered no messages. He was half expecting Stiles to say something... but nope. Nothing.

Erica and Boyd show up shortly after he gets all his clothes on. He’s sitting on the bench, rubbing at his eyes, when they come in.

“Hey sleepyhead. How was your night?” Erica asks, ruffling his hair a bit. “Doesn’t seem like you got much sleep by the looks of it.”

As Sergeant he should probably scold her. He’s her superior and he liked to maintain an air of professionalism when it came to his team. But today he just couldn’t be bothered. And Erica and Boyd were much more than colleagues.

“I’m fine,” He mumbles.

“How’d dinner with Stiles go?” Boyd asks. And Derek really wishes he hadn’t. But he doesn’t know any better.

He sighs. These are his closest friends. They know practically everything about him. They know everything about his previous relationships. So it’s fair that they’d want to know all the details about this one too.

“He asked me to move in with him,” Derek admits.

“Derek!” Erica exclaims. “That’s huge!”

“I asked him if I could think about it,” He continues. And he knows Erica will tear him a new one.

“You what?!” She shrieks.

Boyd takes her hand before she can charge at Derek and smack some sense into him. It seems to calm her a bit but she’s still fuming as she glares at Derek.

“I just- I needed some time to be sure that I wanted this. It’s really soon and I-“

“Derek Gregory Hale, you are too damn old for this and you’re not getting any younger!”

“That’s... not my middle name,” He squints his eyes at her, confused.

“Well it felt right!” She argues. “And that’s not the point. Derek, you have never been like this with anyone before. Mostly because you were in a long relationship with a woman, and you’re gay! But you should not have even hesitated. You are freaking head over heels for Stiles. Seriously.”

Before Derek has the chance to respond she storms off. He looks to Boyd for help but his best friend just shrugs

“She’s not wrong, Der. And you aren’t getting any younger,” He says softly. “She’s passionate because she cares. We only want to see you happy.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that,” Derek says. “And I never said no.”

“I’m aware,” Boyd shrugs. “You were never going to.” 

“No.” Derek shakes his head. “No, I wasn’t.”

Boyd claps him on his shoulder and then calls for Erica to come back. She comes quickly as if she’d been waiting for Boyd to work his magic. They make a terrifying team and Derek is grateful for them.

“We have news too,” Erica says, walking up to Boyd so he can wrap an arm around her waist.

“Yeah?” Derek asks.

She looks up at Boyd and they smile at each other. Erica takes Boyd’s hands and places them gently on her stomach. Derek isn’t stupid and his eyes widen as they look at him.

“We’re pregnant,” She says.

Derek can’t help the smile that comes to his face as he gets up to hug them both. He knew they had been talking about this. Boyd would inform him of the details on their runs during their suspension. He had no idea they were actually trying though.

“Congratulations!” He tells them.

He takes Erica’s hand and squeezes Boyd’s shoulder with his free one. If anyone deserved to have a happy little family, it was them.

Their shift doesn’t start for another half hour so they sit in his office and talk about what will happen next for them. Erica plans to continue working the normal amount for a while. Even though the job is stressful, she can handle it for the time being. When she starts to show, she’s decided for the safety of their child she’ll start to work in the station at the front desk.

When the kid is actually born, she might take off for a while to take care of him or her. Boyd said he would be fine if he was the only one working. Firefighters don’t make that much but between the two of them and their inability to take vacations or any sort of time off, they’ve saved up quite a bit.

And Derek even offers to help them out if they need anything. Though they don’t like taking handouts, they know Derek struggles with the idea that he has all this money and nothing to do with it. It’s his family’s money and who better to spend it on than his second family.

Isaac comes in ten minutes before their shift is supposed to start. He looks like he’s exhausted and scrambling to get a grip. Derek assumes it’s all the wedding planning. He hasn’t been around as much, he’s used some of his vacation time to spend some days getting things ready with Scott. The wedding approaches closer and closer every day and they all can tell that Isaac feels unprepared.

Isaac bursts into his office while he’s still talking with Erica and Boyd.

“Everything okay?” Derek asks as he looks at Isaac’s wide eyes with caution.

“No,” Isaac shakes his head hysterically. “I’m freaking the fuck out.”

Erica gets up from her seat to take Isaac’s hand. After working with Isaac for several years, they’d all learned how much touch calms him. As a child he was abused and touch starved. He was cautious around people and anyone laying a finger on him. But the more they all got to know each other, the more Isaac trusted them not to hurt him.

“I’m pregnant,” Erica decides to tell him. She knows the news will calm him further. And take his mind off of whatever was making him tense in the first place.

“Oh my gosh, that’s incredible,” Isaac hugs her instantly. They both melt into the hug and it lulls Isaac into a sense of security. “Congratulations, you guys.”

Erica lets Isaac take the chair she’d been sitting in and opts to stand behind Boyd’s chair as they continue to chat. The shift starts in a few minutes but they’re not worried. Getting calls right when the shift starts tends to be a rarity.

Derek informs Isaac that Stiles had asked him to move in and his own reaction to the suggestion. Isaac is just as bad as Erica when he scolds him. As a happy, gay man himself, Isaac feels obligated to be Derek’s sensei sometimes. And Derek is okay to let Isaac talk him through whatever he needs to.

“Stiles makes you happy, right?” Isaac asks and Derek nods. “Then continue to let him make you happy in the confines of one place. It’s not like you guys aren’t together practically every night you’re not here.”

Isaac makes a fair point. And Derek knows this. But he hasn’t really had the time to sit down and think about all the things that moving in with another person really means. Especially one he cares so deeply for. He hasn’t had to worry about a decision like this since he was in his early 20s and decided to move in with Paige when they’d gotten engaged. That was years after they’d started dating. It had only been two months with Stiles.

But where he was cautious with Paige, he felt wild with Stiles. More pieces fit together in less time than they ever had when he had to figure everything out with her. That could be because of the fact that he was gay and knew deep down even back then, which is why the decisions felt more intense and final.

Yet it still feels intense and final now. In a different way. Because of the quickness of the steps in their relationship. But it’s always been fast for them. They had sex the first night they met. They knew that night that there was something more there. It was almost instant, their connection. Which is why moving in with Stiles shouldn’t be a difficult decision to make.

The only thing that would really change is he’d have to take all his belongings over to Stiles’. That wouldn’t be too difficult seeing as he was never one to decorate or keep knick-knacks, and he kind of owns the entire building where he lives. So it wouldn’t exactly be like saying goodbye to a chapter in his life. And Stiles’ apartment was much more homey anyway.

Derek doesn’t have the chance to think about it further because the alarm starts ringing throughout the building which means that it’s time for their shift to really begin. This shift is 48 hours. So it’s going to be two whole days before he can even see Stiles again. It should give him plenty of time to figure stuff out.

Right?

* * *

Stiles is sitting at Scott’s kitchen table while he runs around, searching for things in different boxes scattered around the apartment. Scott — and Isaac — are in stress mode as the wedding gets closer everyday. They’re getting little sleep. Isaac because of his schedule at the station and Scott because he’s worried about Isaac.

“Do you need help?” Stiles asks, feeling useless as he sits there and picks at his nails.

“I got it,” Scott dismisses, but he clearly does not got it as he runs a frazzled hand through his hair.

Stiles gets up and pulls Scott away from the boxes to get him out of his head for a moment. Stiles hasn’t really ever thought of what it’d be like to get married, but if it’s anything like this chaos, he’s not sure if he even wants that. And maybe Derek doesn’t even want to get married again.

And there he goes, thinking about Derek.

It’s been a whole day since they sat down for dinner and he asked the older man to move in with him. He knows it was kind of crazy and maybe too fast but it felt right and he was ready. Derek apparently was not on the same page. And he didn’t want to think about it. Especially without so much as a text from his boyfriend to check up on him.

So he’s using Scott as a distraction. That’s not to say that he totally wouldn’t be here otherwise, but it certainly helps. Stiles has ADHD so watching Scott this hyper-sensitive is kind of like an out of body experience. And his anxiety increases with every passing second that Scott doesn’t just slow down.

“Hey buddy, I know planning a wedding is intense and time-consuming but if you don’t sit still for a few minutes I’m going to have a panic attack,” Stiles says as he guides Scott out of the house altogether for some fresh air.

“I’m sorry. I know I must look insane right now,” Scott apologizes.

“No more than usual,” Stiles jokes and knocks shoulders with him. 

“You came here looking upset, and I barely stopped to acknowledge that.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine, really. I just am going through something with Derek right now,” Stiles shrugs and walks around the porch, almost in a pacing fashion.

“What’s going on?” Scott asks in concern.

Stiles sighs, “Well I asked Derek to move in with me the other night.”

“And he said no!?”

“No,” Stiles says quickly. “But he didn’t say yes. And now I haven’t heard from him since the other night. I know he’s working but I assumed I’d at least get a text. Or a call. I don’t know, maybe I’m being foolish.”

“Well he’s an idiot then,” Scott decides. Always on his side, no matter what.

Stiles just shrugs at him. Derek, in all honesty, has valid reasons to be hesitant on a decision like this. He hasn’t properly dated anyone since high school, which was over a decade ago for him. So Stiles wasn’t going to sit there and pretend that this decision was easy. But if he would have given him an answer immediately, it might hurt less. Limbo sucks.

Stiles decided to bury himself in work instead. Which has been closely associated with Derek and his family lately so really he can’t escape it.

“I talked to Jackson on the phone the other day,” Stiles tells Scott who has been sitting on the stoop, resting his eyes.

“Whittemore? From high school?” Scott’s almost as shocked by the idea as he was when Jackson didn’t hang up the phone when he called.

“Yeah, uh, Danny gave me his number. Apparently he’s a really good private investigator. I hired him to do some work for me.”

Scott doesn’t really know about the fire. Or well, he knows about the fire but only as much as everyone else knows. What the media had to say. He doesn’t know about Kate Argent. He doesn’t know about the fraud insurance statement. And he certainly doesn’t know Stiles is working on a presumed to be solved case.

“And he didn’t laugh and hang up on you immediately?” Scott is honestly baffled. Stiles can’t say he doesn’t still feel the same way.

“You know how some people don’t change in high school — like us, for example — well, he did. He’s actually... nice? Is that too kind of a word to describe the guy who basically tormented me all four years of high school?” Stiles shakes his head in disbelief.

But Jackson had been so understanding when he called. He was focused on the job Stiles had for him. Barely needed any backstory. Didn’t ask what was in it for him. He could tell that Stiles needed help and just like that, he was willing to lend his services to the BHPD. 

The guy had even apologized at the end of their call. Had actually said he was sorry about high school. Sorry about his actions when it came to Lydia. Which was totally something those two needed to hash out for themselves. But it was appreciated by Stiles.

“Never thought I’d see the day where you guys got along,” Scott comments. Stiles agrees.

Scott has visibly calmed down since their break outside. Sometimes he gets so in his head about things that he scrambles around and doesn’t ask for help. So Stiles offers his help this time as they head back inside. Scott graciously accepts and they tackle the rest of the wedding to-do list for they day, together.

Scott invites him to stay for pizza and video games after they finish some stuff up. Some things never change even after high school.

Isaac — like Derek — will be at the station for another 24 hours so he won’t be coming home. Being with Scott makes him feel less alone, so he enjoys the company.

In the middle of a game, his phone starts to ring and he knows better than to just ignore it. He drops his controller and makes Scott go on without him. Which his best friend totally complains about because it’s hard to fight 2 v. 1, especially when his skills are a bit rusty. Stiles ignores his cries of protest and walks to the other room to answer his cell.

“Hello?”

“Stiles, it’s Jordan.”

“Oh, hey,” He greets. He forgot to check the caller ID initially, and as he glances at the clock on the wall, he’s surprised to find Parrish calling so late. “What’s up?”

“You know how you asked me to do some digging on that Garrison Meyers guy from the insurance company?”

“Of course,” Stiles says quickly, hoping to God that Jordan found something.

“I couldn’t find him the other day when I took a trip to the school. But I talked to the principal at BHHS and they gave me his contact information. I went to his house earlier to see if I could catch him there. He was home. Very skittish when I knocked on his door. Wouldn’t tell me shit. I could tell he was hiding something though,” Parrish explains. “Any way you think we could get some solid evidence to bring this guy in to talk?”

“I could stop by the Hale house on my lunch break in a few days to see if there’s something the police department missed or something Mr. Meyers hid from them,” Stiles offers.

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thanks Jordan,” He says in gratitude. He doesn’t know what he’d do without him as a partner. He definitely has his dad to thank for setting them up a few years back.

They say their goodbyes and promises to see each other in the morning. He walks back into the living room where Scott has taken to sit on the floor by the coffee table to eat another slice of pizza. His best friend looks concerned when he enters, not sure who called or what the call could have been about.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Stiles nods, grabbing a slice for himself. “Jordan just might have a lead on one of the cases we’re working on.”

“That’s good news.”

They don’t talk much about Stiles’ job. Scott’s a little squeamish and definitely doesn’t like hearing what Stiles sees in the forensics department, or on the scenes of crimes. Even as a veterinarian himself. And he has enough to worry about with what Isaac does for a living. So they keep conversation light by giving vague details. It works for them. And Derek listens to what he has to say now anyways, so it’s not like he has no one to talk to.

It gets later and Stiles feels exhausted. Scott offers to let him stay the night and he graciously accepts. His apartment’s not far but it’s an added bonus that he won’t be alone at Scott’s. They were used to sleepovers when they were younger and it wasn’t rare for them to do it even now into adulthood. They were always there for each other whenever they needed it, which eased the ache in his heart.

He slept better knowing Scott was just in the other room. A stark contrast from not sleeping at all last night with Derek gone.

* * *

Derek is exhausted by the end of his shift. So is his team. He sends Erica and Boyd home immediately. He’s already protective of Erica and that baby she’s carrying. They don’t need to overwork her, and she’ll need to be healthy, get plenty of sleep, and keep her stress levels down. Kind of impossible as a firefighter but they’ll make do because she won’t quit now.

Isaac leaves quickly after them, mentioning needing to get home to his fiancé. Working seemed to take his mind off of the wedding jitters. In their down time, they learned that Isaac and Scott were pretty stressed with the wedding only a few months away. Not everything was set yet and they weren’t prepared.

Derek remembers his wedding. It was the exact opposite of Isaac and Scott’s. The two men wanted something big with family and friends. Derek’s family was dead so he didn’t have many people to invite at the time. Paige had a relatively small number of family and friends as well. So the stress was minimal because it was such a private event. The reception was even held at their new house because they’d had plenty of room for everyone. So he can’t imagine what Scott and Isaac are going through.

As a Sergeant of station 16, he was generally one of the last people to leave when his shift was over. And this time it felt like he was stalling more than usual.

He hadn’t spoken to Stiles in two days, which wasn’t great. He should have at least sent a text. The past 48 hours were a bit hectic though. There was a big fire at a warehouse outside of town that required multiple stations to put out. There was an accident in town when a street light went out. Several house fires occurred due to candles or forgotten stoves. It almost felt like they couldn’t catch a break. He barely got any sleep. Which wasn’t unusual but was worse without Stiles.

Speaking of, he really needed to talk to him. But he was nervous. Still biding his time while he could. And he had another important matter to attend to that evening. Something that maybe could help him process the decision a bit more.

After he says goodbye to the captain, alerting him that he’s off shift, he jumps in the Camaro and heads to the hospital. When he gets there, the nurses greet him with so much familiarity. They don’t even need to tell him where to go. He knows the walk through the halls by heart.

He stops at the all too familiar room and leans at the doorway, watching a nurse make his uncle a bit more comfortable. He looks happy today. It’s been weird to see an expression on his face at all when there really was nothing for almost 15 years. They’re still really calling it a miracle that he’s functioning even a little again.

The nurse leaves shortly when she notices him in the doorway. He nods at her as she passes, heading in when he’s alone. He takes his usual seat about three feet or so away from where Peter sits in his wheelchair.

Peter knows he’s there. And maybe he always knew Derek was there when he visited. With the recent progress, Derek could actually tell when his uncle was focused on him and not staring into space. Peter’s expression was still pretty blank but he follows Derek when he sits down.

“Hey Uncle Peter,” Derek says gently.

Peter’s fingers twitch. They’ve discovered that it’s his way of acknowledging something someone says to him. He’s not very responsive. He’s a good listener though. With the progress he’s made over the past month, they think he might even become more intelligible in the future. Which is great news.

The fire didn’t effect Peter in the ways that the doctors originally thought. They figured that the trauma and pain caused him to go so far away from reality that he would just be a vegetable the rest of his life. He hadn’t made any progress to come back to reality in the 15 years that he had been in a coma. 

The process his nurses and doctors are trying to help with now is a lot of therapy. There’s a lot of rehabilitation that must be done to get him to think, speak, and maybe even move correctly again. Derek had promised to be there every step of the way.

Derek has good memories of his uncle before the fire. He was a completely different person back then. He was a jokester but never did anything that would put the family in harms way. He liked to tease Derek a lot, but it was mostly out of fondness. He can sometimes imagine how he’d act presently whenever he came to visit. He can image the snark and the laid back attitude. And he misses it.

“I’ve told you about my boyfriend, right?” That’s a trick question. Derek can’t stop talking about Stiles when he’s with Peter. But it’s a good way to know if Peter’s memory is working like it should be.

There’s a small clicker in Peter’s hands that they’ve started to train him to use. Multiple clicks means yes to most questions or that he’s happy and one click means no or that he’s upset or mad. It’s really helped the communication process.

So Peter uses his fingers to click it several times, almost incessantly, like he’s fondly annoyed by how much Derek talks about Stiles.

“Okay, well... he’s kind of asked me to move in with him,” Derek explains.

Peter clicks excitedly again, thrilled to hear some good news. He’s just happy that he has a family member around to be happy for him.

“I kind of didn’t say yes when he asked me,” Derek admits and he’s ashamed. He’d already gotten the talk from Erica and Boyd. Peter couldn’t even talk and somehow his disappointment would be worse.

Peter doesn’t use the clicker this time. Instead he smacks his hand multiple times on the armrest of his chair. It’s his way of saying that Derek’s an idiot.

“I know. I know. I’m an idiot. I just needed some time to think. I was married for ten years, and all the experience that came with that did not prepare me for this. I’m so happy with Stiles. This might be the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. But I’m also terrified. I don’t think I would make it through this if things didn’t work out between Stiles and I.”

Peter’s eyes somehow soften as Derek explains himself. He slowly turns his free hand over and leaves it resting on the chair. Derek scoots forward and takes Peter’s hand. Someone they also learned was the importance of human contact. Not only was it comforting for Peter, but it comforted Derek too. To know that there was someone still inside his uncle’s body.

Peter can’t speak but as Derek looks at him, he can imagine what he would say _, “Life is scary, but if you care about him, you should go for it. And life is all about progress. Look at me. I’m the definition of progress.”_

They sit there for a while. Derek likes to stay and talk to Peter about things that have been happening. He talks about Erica and Boyd and their baby to be. He talks about Isaac and Scott and the upcoming wedding. He talks about calls on the job and the danger he faces everyday. Peter, the great listener he is, eats it up.

And he stays much longer than he intends to. All the way up to the end of visiting hours. Which puts him at almost nine o’clock at night. He’s stalled for too long anyway; he should get his routine back to normal. Especially while he has the day off tomorrow. 

* * *

Stiles is getting ready to go to bed when he hears a knock at his front door. He knows how late it is. He has to double check the clock on the living room wall as he passes through. He doesn’t know anyone who would knock on his door so late without texting him first. He also really just doesn’t have the energy for anything.

As he grabs the handle and looks at who’s across the threshold, he has to say that he’s not expecting it.

“Hi,” Derek says softly. He sounds apologetic as if he realizes what time it is too. Stiles wants to be mad, but he’s not.

“I wasn’t expecting you so late,” Stiles says softly, looking down as Derek gazes at him.

“Sorry I didn’t call. I didn’t want to just come and barge in,” Derek apologizes further.

“That’s kind of what the key I gave you is for,” Stiles says instead. He still wants there to be hope for them to live together. Even when Derek’s proved that idea is not what he wants. Especially by not using the damn key.

“I know. I’m really sorry, Stiles. I’ve been a really shitty boyfriend. I should have never left our dinner like that. And I definitely should have checked up on you afterwards. But I’ve been kind of terrified... and I didn’t want you to see that I was scared. So I pushed you away and I regret that,” Derek tells him. “But I’ve had some sense knocked into me over the past few days. And I know what I want. I’ve always know deep down.”

Derek fishes through his pocket and pulls out what looks suspiciously like the key to his apartment. Derek sticks his hand out with the key between his fingers, pushing it towards Stiles as if he wants him to take it. The rock in his gut feels heavier as he reaches out his own hand and grabs it. He really didn’t think this would be the outcome.

“Okay,” Stiles sighs. He doesn’t know what else to say. He doesn’t know if this means they’re breaking up. He suddenly just wants to push Derek out the door.

“Oh, fuck,” Derek says quickly, obviously panicked. “Jeez, I’m messing this up so badly. I want you to ask me again!”

“You want me to ask you to move in with me again?”

“Yeah,” Derek is nodding eagerly as he looks at Stiles who still has the key between his fingers.

Stiles can’t help but smile a little at the dweeb of a boyfriend he has. “Derek, will you-“

“God, yes,” Derek says before he can even finish. He surges forward and engulfs Stiles in a passionate kiss. Stiles almost drops the key while trying to caress Derek’s face. Derek pulls away to really look at Stiles. “I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I don’t care how cheesy that sounds. You mean the world to me and I’m tired of being afraid to show you that.”

Stiles initiates the kiss this time, not being able to help himself. He’s only ever lived with his dad, Melissa and Scott, or by himself. He’s never had this experience before and he can’t imagine it being with anyone else.

They’re not perfect. That’s obvious. But everything they are is enough. They make each other happy. Stiles never knew what people meant when they said home didn’t have to be a place. It could be a person. Now he understood; he found his home in Derek.

Derek carries him to the bedroom swiftly. He practically devours his mouth as they make their way to the bed. And while they have tense, erotically charged sex often, that’s not how it feels now as they move slowly together. It’s like a dance that they both can feel in their bones.

Derek takes his time unraveling him. His hands glide softly across Stiles’ body, touching but not quite pressing into his skin. He’s pressing his hands into Derek’s hot skin though. He feels like his grip is leaving fingerprints as he tries to get close and closer to Derek.

And God, Stiles feels it then. Feels like he loves Derek. Feels that feeling like it’s the easiest thing in the world. He wants to say he’s felt it before with someone else but that just isn’t the case. Lydia was right, when you know, you really know.

Love makes him feel like he can’t breathe. Can’t think. He simultaneously wants to bury himself further in his boyfriend and have a panic attack. He settles for throwing Derek underneath him so the breathing comes easier. And Derek doesn’t mind a little manhandling.

He wants to tell the man below him. Would like to whisper it in his ear over and over or shout it from the roof of his apartment building. He wants Derek to know.

But Derek knowing could scare him off. And he really doesn’t want that. They made huge progress by deciding to move in together. Telling Derek how he really felt could cause him to spiral. And three days of not talking to or seeing him was torture enough.

So he doesn’t say it. But he feels it. And for now, that’s what’s important.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to post a little update. After the semester ended, I thought I would be able to work on this more but I’ve been trying to find a job in the midst of COVID and now there’s flooding in my area that I have to be concerned about so there’s been little time to write. I hope to pick this up soon for more! So stay tuned!


End file.
